The Mockingjay Who Couldn't Fly
by Unknown Familiarity
Summary: Set before epilogue.  Follow the recovery of Peeta and Katniss, and how they fell back in love.  TONS of K/P, and lots of fluffy lemons. M for a reason!
1. For Whom the Heart Beats

I own nothing hunger games.

This takes place after Mockingjay, but before the epilogue. Tons of Peeta/Katniss.

Rated M for future reasons.

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 1

For Whom the Heart Beats

(kpov)

I feared the night.

And I wasn't too sure what to do about it. Night meant sleep, sleep meant dreams, and dreams meant terror. In my dreams I saw all the dead. I saw Prim, Boggs, Finnick, Snow, Coin, Rue, Thresh, Cinna, and dad. I saw faces of comrades who I didn't even know name wise, but had seen fall in a war that I was the symbol of. I saw children dying, heard the screams of their mothers. I felt fire, pain, fear, exhaustion, pain, pain, pain…and it only stopped when I woke up screaming every night, clutching my sheets, sweat pouring from my mutilated body.

The revolution had created a monster.

In the first few months of my exile, I barely existed. Peeta planted the primrose bushes, and I began to speak to my doctor and my mother. And then I took Buttercup in, and something changed. I felt that it was finally time make an effort to become human again. But I still fear the night.

The sun is barely beginning to show over the horizon, its brilliant orange symbolizing a new day, a short reprieve from the nightmares that visit from the shadows of night. I have been up for hours, too scared to go back to sleep, to desperate to find the day so I don't have to. The crisp early spring air is fresh and welcoming, and the coolness refreshes me. Today…today might be the day where I go hunting again. The idea had come to me yesterday while I lay in bed, facing the wall. If I was going to continue living, or at least trying to, I had to bring some order into my life. Hunting would help me get better. Hunting would repair my mind, my soul, even possibly my heart.

My eyes shifted from the sun to Peeta's kitchen window. No…only one thing could mend my heart…after all; its initial breaking had been my fault. I had broken Peeta's heart…ruined him…and in return, my heart had broken itself. The only way to fix it was him…but I doubted he wanted the job. The light in the window had been on for at least an hour, Peeta, the boy with the bread, up before sunrise to bake and sell his food to the few stragglers who had returned to district 12 to rebuild. He fed the workers, gave them hope with the soft loaves of deliciously concocted breads. It was no wonder his new bakery was being built in record time.

I stood up and stretched, returning to my kitchen to grab the kettle of tea that had been brewing. I made a decent amount of the sweet herbal brew that Greasy Sae had showed me how to make. It's meant to add weight to my bones, to revitalize me. It tastes like flowers and fresh, pure water. But today…it's also meant to share. Pouring the tea into a large flask, I slip on my soft hunting boots, tie my hair back, and throw on my father's hunting jacket. I leave some juicy entrails that Greasy Sae dropped off for Buttercup, and grabbing my bow and arrows, I am on my way out the door. Peeta's house is two over from mine, and the walk is fast so I don't have time to rethink my plan.

I knock once on his door, and it's only moments before it opens and he stands in the doorway, his blue eyes surprised. "Katniss…" It takes me a moment to look him up and down, the raw beauty of his features momentarily stunning me silent. His burned skin looks better than mine, the paleness of his skin making it easier for the grafts to blend. His hair is short, but soft and slightly curly, the light from the house bouncing off the blonde strands. He's a lot thinner than he had been before the second games, but I can see the muscles in his arms.

Recovering, I hold up the flask. "Tea. Care to join me?"

Peeta smiles once, not his radiant smile, but a soft, almost relieved smile. "I think I can fit tea into breakfast. Come on in, I have food on the stove." I follow him into the kitchen, leaving my weapons at the door, shedding my coat. His house is a lot warmer than mine, proof that his ovens have been running for a while. Loaves of bread line three bakers rack. He's been busy. I wander over to them while he adds some food for me to the stove. The racks are neatly labeled. Cinnamon, apple, berry, plain…my mouth begins to water. Peeta notices and cuts one of the cinnamon loaves open. "Try it. It's a new recipe…"

He can barely finish before my teeth are ripping into the piece he gave me. I moan in pleasure. "Peeta…this is…divine."

His blue eyes darken just a hint and he turns away with a chuckle and a blush. "Glad you like it." Quickly, he serves breakfast…eggs and bacon with the cinnamon bread and tea. We eat in silence for a few moments, but I can feel Peeta's gaze on me.

"I'm sorry." The words blurt out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I instantly regret it. Peeta looks confused. Now I have to continue. "I'm sorry for everything. For making you fall in love with me, and abusing your trust. For your leg, for pushing you away, for not being able to save you the second time…" Peeta is up and around the table before I can even finish my apology, his strong arms around me, his face buried in my hair as he murmurs for me to hush. He holds me while I cry, and I cling to him for safety. When my tears have all but dried up, he releases me and pushes back a wayward strand of hair.

"I don't regret anything that has happened to me because of you. It wasn't your fault after the 2nd games. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. And you never made me fall in love with you; I did that all my own. And I don't take it back for the world." He pressed a gentle kiss onto my forehead and returned to his seat, motioning me to continue eating. Embarrassed by my outburst, I return to my food.

"I'm going to go hunting today. Could you, maybe join me for dinner tonight? If you're not too busy that is." Peeta smiles again.

"I'd love to. Should I bring Haymitch out of that dungeon he's been living in?" I think about it, and then nod. Peeta meets my gaze and doesn't let go. "You know, Katniss…if you ever need anything…anything at all…I'll be here for you."

I want to return the favor…to offer my strength for him…but I am weak. I am scared. I am a monster. He'd be better off without me. Better off to find a soft wife who will be there for him. Who won't repel him with her scars and her nightmares. But I don't tell him this. Instead, I stand up, flash him a smile which I hope looks sincere, and take my plate to the sink. Turning I run straight into his chest. He had snuck up behind me, and his arms encircle me, pulling me into the warm embrace that I have missed.

I should let him go. I shouldn't require him to love me. But I am selfish, so I stay in his embrace, snaking my arms around his waist to lock my hands against his back. And then…to my surprise and his too, I kiss him. Just once, but with enough urgency and passion, that I know it will be the first of many. And before he can respond, I'm out the door with a small wave and a smile, my bow in my hand, and my steps brilliantly lighter than they have been in months.

I go to the woods and set up my snares. I have lost a lot of weight and therefore muscle and stamina, so my hunting takes longer than usual. Hours pass and I slowly collect a good amount of game. Some to eat, some to store, some to sell, and the best part of all…and enormously large turkey that happened to wander across my path…that I will donate to the workers. As I stop by the rock that Gale and I always visited I am hit with a wave of sadness. It's lonely, hunting without him…but I haven't yet forgiven him for his possible involvement in the death of my sister. I had learned from my mother that Gale was in district 2, something with the military. That put him 10 districts away from me…and I didn't mind in the least. But still, the sudden emptiness at realizing he's gone or good surprises me. I don't wish to linger in the area for long, but since I am too weak to walk down to the lake, I take a quick breather, building a small fire and roasting one of the squirrels I have just caught. The meat is juicy, and since there is no need to share with any companions, I eat in comfortable silence, my hunger forcing me to consume the entire animal.

I think of Rue then…her excitement at being able to eat the leg on that night before her death. And in her honor, I carve her name into the rock that I am leaning against and do a silent salute, the same I had done to the cameras after her death.

Exhausted, I shoulder my game bag and drag the rest back to town. Greasy Sae is more than willing to take some of the game, and volunteers to prepare the turkey or the excited workers in town. There are 15 people who have returned to 12…I know some of them…and their hungry eyes light up as they see the giant turkey that will be their meals. Leevy and her brother, two of the returnees, each pull me into a crushing hug…gratitude in their eyes. With the money I have just earned from selling some of the game, I buy potatoes and berries from one of the few vendors who have set up shop, and donate those too. If district 12 is going to be rebuilt, it needs to be done with strength. And the meal that I am providing to the workers, it'll help. I say my goodbyes and trudge back to my house, my game bag considerably lighter.

Peeta is waiting for me on my porch with a surprisingly sober Haymitch. Both men smile when I hold up the game bag and we all go inside. Haymitch lights a fire in the living room, and I set the kitchen up to start preparing the rabbits that will be our main course. Peeta looks curiously into the game bag as I pull out 2 rabbits.

"You have a lot of game still in here."

I nod and begin to cook, slow roasting the rabbits in the oven, surrounded by potatoes, carrots, and some herbs I had picked in the forest. "I want to try my hand at making jerky. It'll preserve the meat in a way where I can bring it into the woods with me when I hunt, or have a store to share with people next winter. Rooba taught me how to do it years ago." I take the game bag away from him and put it in a secure box outside where the coolness from the night will allow it to stay good until I can start to skin and salt it all.

Peeta has brought over fresh-baked rolls, and Haymitch has brought over some alcohol. I grin at look at the two men sitting at my table, both waiting for the delicious meal to be done. As soon as it is cooked, I serve and we all dig in.

Haymitch lets out a groan of pleasure. "I thought you couldn't cook, Katniss."

I smile secretively and just shrug. Peeta laughs and holds up his glass of water-both of us opting out of the alcohol. "To recovering. Finally." We cheers to that and then grow quiet.

Haymitch turns to me. "How are you doing, sweetheart?" I shrug again, too confused to discuss my dreams. But I have a feeling Haymitch knows about them. He probably dreams too. I've heard him wake up once or twice screaming…our houses are next to each other…which means he probably hears me every now and then. In a surprising gesture of affection, Haymitch reaches out and clasps my small hand in his. We lock eyes and silently affirm our fears. Both of us have nightmares. Peeta watches our exchange silently and says nothing.

When dinner is over, Haymitch thanks me for the meal, kisses my forehead and leaves. Peeta helps me with the dishes and we collapse on the couch. He opens up his arms to me, and I gladly crawl into his embrace. The soreness of the day's hunt leaves my muscles as he wraps his arms around me. We shift to get more comfortable, and I end up practically on top of him, our legs tangled. I look up into his eyes and see him staring at me…his blue eyes hungry. I can't help myself-I readjust my body so I am hovering above Peeta, my lips inches above his. His eyes never leave mine as one hand tangles through my hair to bring my lips crashing to his.

The hunger that I felt on the beach, it returns with a vengeance, and my body cries out for him, reveling in the heat of his touch. He pulls away, a sigh on his lips. "I missed you. So much, Katniss. Those months when you were just a shell of yourself, I feared for you, prayed you'd come back to me." His lips brush mine again. "But I don't want to rush this."

My heart stops in my chest and I meet his sad gaze. "You don't want me?"

Peeta sits up slightly, adjusting his arms so I am once again cocooned inside of his embrace. "No, no…that's not what I meant. I want you. So much that I doubt you can even imagine. But we need to go slow. I still have episodes, and you're just starting to come around. We can't rush us. I want us to be real-not faked or just for convenience." He watches me for a second, relief rushing across his features when I nod in agreement. Of course I am embarrassed, but he doesn't say anything more. When I start to doze off, he sits up and carries me to bed, laying me gently under the covers.

I reach out and grab his arm as he turns to leave. "Peeta. Stay…please?" Peeta hesitates and I shake my head. "I just…I miss your arms around me when I sleep. It used to be the only thing that kept the monsters away. Please…" my voice trails off as he nods and pulls off his shirt, kicks off his shoes, and joins me under the covers, pulling my back flush to his chest. We fall asleep quickly.

And for the first time…in a long time…I sleep without dreaming.


	2. Fear is Not Recommended

I own nothing hunger games.

This takes place after Mockingjay, but before the epilogue. Tons of Peeta/Katniss.

Rated M for future reasons.

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 2

Fear is Not Recommended

_I reach out and grab his arm as he turns to leave. "Peeta. Stay…please?" Peeta hesitates and I shake my head. "I just…I miss your arms around me when I sleep. It used to be the only thing that kept the monsters away. Please…" my voice trails off as he nods and pulls off his shirt, kicks off his shoes, and joins me under the covers, pulling my back flush to his chest. We fall asleep quickly._

_And for the first time…in a long time…I sleep without dreaming._

The sun woke me up from the first good sleep I had in months. I rolled over and found the bed empty, but before my heart could crash into my chest-I saw the note pinned on my pillow.

"Katniss, went home to shower and change and start baking. Breakfast would be most enjoyable with your company."

My grin was uncontainable, and I sat up out of bed and stripped my bedclothes off, heading for my bathroom. But before I got in the shower, I took a good long look at my naked body. My scarring was finally starting to fade, my skin growing back into itself-but I still looked like a hastily patched together doll. My hair, finally growing back after the burns, hung in choppy layers down my shoulders, but I didn't care. I was thin…much thinner than I ever remember being, but that was fixable. My breasts, I blushed as my hands cupped them gently. Well…they had certainly filled out since my 15th birthday when I had been flat as a boy. I smoothed my hands down my hips, over my flat stomach, and then turned to examine my backside. Scars, bones, but also something strangely beautiful. If given the chance, I could be a beautiful woman…I had seen that feat first hand from my stylists…but now there was something raw and wonderful about my body that even I appreciated.

My shower was fast, my spirits high as I combed my hair, dressed in a light leather hunting tunic, leggings, and boots…all gifts from my mother. I braided the damaged remains of my hair into my customary braid, and fed Buttercup. He wound his way through my legs and purred. Such a strange cat…before I had threatened to drown him…and now we were best friends…at least, I assumed, until I stopped feeding him.

Exiting my house, I first stopped by Haymitch's, and though he was sleeping, I left him some fresh meat from yesterday and a single primrose from one of my bushes attached to the parcel. Whistling, I strolled down one more house to Peeta's. He was standing on the porch waiting for me, a grin on his handsome face.

"Well, aren't you just the picture of a spring morning?" I grinned up at him and gladly entered his embrace. He pressed a kiss into my hair and led me inside. The smell of bread was overwhelming, and we both chuckled as my stomach growled.

I shrugged out my jacket and hung in on the hook near the door before following him into the kitchen. He had laid out a breakfast of fresh berries from the berry patch behind his house and fresh baked pastries. I dug in with relish. But as soon as my immediate hunger was satisfied, I began to think.

"Peeta," he looked up, and I blushed. "I just wanted to say thank you. For last night."

He smiled back at me and gently squeezed my hand. "That's what I'm here for." There was a knock on his door and Peeta got up to answer it. Haymitch walked in, a strange look on his face.

"I'm glad I found you two together. We gotta talk." He poured himself a glass of milk and joined us at the table. "I just got off the phone with President Paylor. She told me that the Capitol is sending Peacekeepers to help some of the districts with some issues regarding the wildlife. She said a detail is being sent here to help rebuild a more secure fence to guard against the dogs." I shrugged. It wasn't news to me. I myself had mentioned the increased dog population to the President. I knew the fence would be a friendly fence, with access points that would be secured at night, but still allows for free travel. However, what Haymitch said next surprised me. "Gale is coming to 12."

I choked on a berry.

Gale…I hadn't seen him since the assassination. I didn't WANT to see him. I did the math in my head. He'd be here by this evening. I looked at Peeta…his face was a mask of confusion. Of course he'd think that Gale would pose a threat! I put my hand in Peeta's and squeezed.

"Did you tell the President exactly how I feel about Gale?"

Haymitch grinned. "Oh yea. I did. I told her that you would probably be the one to let an arrow fly through his heart. She laughed and asked me to make sure you don't end up in prison. Gale IS head of the Peacekeepers now." I growled and squeezed Peeta's hand harder. He hissed through his teeth and shook me. I loosened my grip and he rubbed his hand, shaking his head with an amused smile.

"Haymitch…I think we should propose that Katniss move in with me so I can keep an eye on her." Peeta winked at Haymitch who chuckled.

I was surprised. The idea of us living together…it actually appealed to me. But I didn't want to do it just because of Gale. I shook my head. "I can handle Gale." Peeta looked hurt for a minute but then nodded and cleared out plates. When his back was turned to us, Haymitch kicked me under the table and I growled. He just glared back. It was then that I noticed he wasn't drunk.

"You're sober!" Haymitch nodded slowly.

"I'm trying. For your sake." I felt tears well in my eyes and I threw my arms around Haymitch. He caught me easily, but grunted from the force of my body hitting his chest. He returned my embrace and kissed my cheek. "You have to get strong. For everyone, Katniss…but also for yourself." The last part was just a whisper that I could hear. And I nodded before pulling away from him.

I stood up and pecked Peeta on the cheek. "I'm going to check some of my snares." He nodded and checked my outfit.

"Do you have a knife?" I nodded and showed him the sheath around my waist. He nodded in approval and kissed me gently. "Be safe."

I waved goodbye and left the house, walking through town to say hello to some of the workers that weren't already at the job sites. They waved and watched me duck through the fence.

I was in the woods for hours before I realized that I could see no game, and that the forest was eerily quiet. I looked around for confirmation, and I was alone. I readied my bow, spinning around to find out why everything was so quiet. I didn't see the movement as much as I heard it. The faint crack of leaves as weight pushed them down. I spun to the sound, my battle-weary hunter senses straining to find the cause of the sound. The dog jumped me before I could even find its location, my arrow shooting wide.

We rolled on the ground for a second, the weight of it driving the wind out of me. As I fought to keep its jaws from snapping my bones, I struggled to get my knife out of my sheath. Finally I was able to deliver a strong stab into the dog's neck and it fell lifeless on top of me. I felt its hot blood spray into my face and I got up quickly, picking up my snapped bow just as I heard the crashing of more dogs.

I ran.

I ran like my life depended on it. Forcing my weak muscles to carry on…I gasped for air as I tried to outrun the dogs. And the dogs…they chased me with such speed that I knew they would catch me soon. I managed to make it to a tree and started climbing. A dog jumped, and its jaws connected with my ankle. I screamed and kicked it free…forcing myself to climb higher. Finally safe on a thick branch I could catch my breath and survey my current predicament.

I was covered in blood, both from the dog I had killed, and from the wounds it had inflicted on me. I had at least two large gashes on my arm where I had attempted to ward off its hungry jaws. My ankle was a mess, but the bones didn't feel broken. Still, I was losing a lot of blood. I scraped some moss off the tree and packed my wounds, using my scarf that I had tied around my neck as a last minute thought as a bandage. I had some rope on me, and I tied myself to the tree…trying not to think of my nights during the first Hunger Games. There were about 9 dogs, all male, waiting at the base of my tree…their hungry eyes knowing I wouldn't last long up there.

After a moment of watching them, I made the connection that these weren't ordinary dogs. They were Muttations. My heart stopped for a moment in fear. They must have been a small population, and allowed out-of-control with the demise of Snow's regime. I couldn't tell what their purpose was…but I knew from my flight through the forest that they were fast, intelligent, and strong.

I had lost my quiver in the fight, and my bow was broken. I threw it at the dogs. They scattered momentarily but quickly came back...growling their displeasure that that stunt of mine. In my pack I had some cheese and bread and my flask of water. I wouldn't go hungry for the time I was up there-but a quick glance at the sky told me I had very little daylight left. And daylight leaving would mean the cold spring night would descend. Not the best conditions for bleeding alone in a tree. Deciding to ration my food, I put it away and winced in pain as my arms moved. I was in trouble.

My eyes drifted close as pain overwhelmed me. When I opened them again, the sun had already set, but the dogs hadn't left. If anything…they had multiplied…the scent of my blood, which was still soaking through my makeshift bandages attracting them. I counted 16. 10 male, 6 female. Strange…usually packs only got to 7 or 8. I drank a bit of water and a small bit of cheese. And then I saw the Mockingjay. Surely Peeta would have started looking for me…I never came back after dark. Even on my worst days. He'd know something was wrong. But just in case…I whistled to the Mockingjay. A song that I knew Peeta would know. He had hummed it to me during the train ride home from the first games. The bird listened and then repeated the song. The surrounding forests came alive with the song. I closed my eyes again and hoped like hell it reached him. And that he knew what it meant.

When my eyes opened again it was due to shouting. I heard my name being called. Looking down, I saw the dogs were gone. Probably scared away by all the commotion…they could take 1 girl…but a whole search party…that made them weary. I struggled to call for help, but my voice lodged in my throat. And then I heard my name again.

Peeta. My heart leapt. "Peeta! I'm here!" I saw his flashlight before I saw him…but when he stepped into view tears came to my eyes. He looked so worried. But before I could be too relieved, Gale appeared right behind him. They looked up at me and without any comment, Gale handed Peeta his gun and climbed the tree to help me down. He cut me free and quickly examined my injuries, his eyes going hard at the blood. "It's not all mine," I reassured him. Slowly, he got me down from the tree and laid me on the ground, speaking quickly into a walkie-talkie device.

Peeta hurried over to me and clutched me in my arms. "The birds, Katniss. They sang, and I knew you were out here." I choked back a sob and wrapped my arm around him. Gale looked up and swore.

"Hate to break up the reunion…but we need to move her." Peeta looked at Gale, confused. But then followed the other man's gaze upward and tensed. I looked up and pure panic set in. A tracker jacker nest was right above us. I hadn't heard it climbing the tree…but it had been there…a good 10 feet above me. Peeta stiffened and I looked at him, noticing with alarm his eyes growing black as his pupils dilated.

"Gale…Peeta's having an episode." Gale tore me away from Peeta and stepped in front of me. Peeta lunged for me, and Gale caught him, the two rolling around. Peeta was screaming about me being dangerous. I struggled to sit up and pulled Gale off of Peeta. Peeta closed his hands around my neck, and I was reminded of our reunion on 13. I knew he could do damage…but I was the only one who could stop it.

"Peeta. Peeta! Listen to me. Your name is Peeta Mellark; you are 18 years old, and a survivor of the Hunger Games. You like to paint, your favorite color is orange, and yesterday you spent the night with me in my bed." His grip loosened a bit. I saw Gale stiffen, but I continued to talk, "you bake bread, and today we ate biscuits and berries. Haymitch was sober. What you're seeing now isn't real. I'm not a threat. I…I love you, Peeta. That's real. We're real." Tears were now flowing from my eyes but I sighed in relief as the blue returned to Peeta's eyes. He released me and sunk to his knees, burying his face in his hands. I sank to the ground next to him, my vision growing blurry as the toll of nearly being strangled and bleeding out caught up with me. I passed out to both Gale and Peeta frantically calling my name.

I woke in the medical clinic, disoriented and sore. My legs burned, and my throat felt tight. Peeta was sitting next to me, his head buried in his arms, one large hand gently holding mine. Gale was not in the room and I groggily shook Peeta. He jumped up and looked me over quickly, his blue eyes filled with anguish.

"Katniss…how are you feeling?"

I looked around. "I'm alright. How long have I been out?" Peeta showed me his watch.

"About 8 hours. You have 19 stitches in your leg, 4 in one arm, 6 in another. You lost a lot of blood. The doctor was worried for a bit that you had lost too much." He looked down. "Kat…I'm sorry about the episode."

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to me, gently brushing my lips against his. "It's not your fault. You still have a lot of improvement that needs to be done-but you were able to bring yourself back to reality. So I know you're on the right track. And just like you're helping me recover-I'm going to help you recover too."

Peeta kissed me and sat back. "You told me you loved me in the forest. Real or not real?"

I couldn't answer him. The minute I opened my mouth, the door opened and Gale marched in, looking very official in his blue and black peacekeeper uniform. He glanced me over and turned to Peeta. "I should arrest you, you know. For the assault of a government figure."

I snorted. "Gale-you're impossible. I'm not pressing charges, so you can't make an arrest. Furthermore, I am not a government figure. I lost that title when I killed the President. Remember?" Peeta had to hide the smirk. Gale looked at me a moment.

"You honestly don't know what Paylor's plans are for you?" He chuckled. "Oh Catnip, you're in for the surprise of your life. Paylor wants you both to do promotional touring for the government. You're still favorites in the capitol-and you're still the face of the revolution."

My anger flashed in front of my eyes. But the tears quickly followed. I didn't want to face the capitol. I just wanted to be left alone. To return to a quiet life where I could hurt in peace. Peeta jumped up and grabbed my hand, growling at Gale to leave us alone. Gale turned and briskly walked out of the hospital room. I began pulling the IV out of my arm. Peeta watched me, momentarily confused.

But then he figured it out. "Hey! Katniss…what are you doing?" He dove for me and tried to stop me from tearing off the heart-rate monitors. I looked up at him only briefly.

"I'm going home. I'm going to make some soup and curl up in my bed, and sleep for a few hours. You're more than welcome to join me. But I'm not sticking around here." I motioned for him to move. "You can either help me, and get me my clothes, or you can holler for help. Your choice."

He shook his head. "You should stay. The doctors said you would be weak."

I shrugged and stood up, feeling slightly woozy, but not terrible. Capitol medicine…the only good thing I discovered on my Hunger Games rotation. "So you won't give me my clothes?"

Peeta shook his head again. "No. You need rest."

I sighed and stepped from my hospital gown, letting the flimsy fabric pool at my feet. Peeta's jaw dropped at my sudden almost-nudity, and I batted my eye lashes at him. "You could have helped me." I stepped around him and searched the dresser for my clothes. Inside, my inner-power voice was cheering at my display of confidence. Stripping in front of a handsome man such as Peeta was something the old Katniss never would have done. But my new self-well…that was open to interpretation still. What was the point of rebuilding me if I didn't add some perks along the way? Peeta was standing where I had left him, his eyes dark with lust and confusion.

I got up from the dresser and put my hands on my hips. "Where are my clothes?"

Peeta shook his head to clear the obvious thoughts that were running through them and blushed, quickly diverting his eyes once he realized that I was standing in my underwear in front of him. "I thought they put them in the closet."

I looked around him at the closet near the door and grinned. Walking to the white door, I brushed past him, my chest lightly rubbing against his arm. What happened next was so fast, that I didn't realize it had happened until I blinked once or twice.

Peeta grabbed my arm and in one rather fast twirl, had me pressed against the door to the room, his other hand locking the door. His eyes were dark, but I didn't fear him-rather…I felt heat course through my body at his close proximity. "I didn't think the girl who was on fire would play with fire so soon after her return to 12." His voice smelled sweet against my face, and heat radiated from his body as he held me pinned.

I met his eyes, and shivered slightly. Within his blue depths spoke so much promise and want. It was true…I was in no condition (physical or mental) to be playing with fire as dangerous as this. But I couldn't help it. Peeta completed me…whether I wanted him to or not. I was as stable as I was going to get for the time-being. But a knock at the door interrupted any thoughts that I was having. Gale's voice broke through our heated moment, asking if I was okay.

I managed a choked out yes and Peeta released me, handing me my pants and shirt without a word. I dressed quickly, mindful of my stitches and Peeta helped me shrug into my jacket. He must have realized that now was not the time or place for us to further explore the fire between us.

Shortly after, I was brought home from the hospital and tucked into bed by Haymitch. Peeta had disappeared while I was signing my release forms. Haymitch kissed my forehead.

"You know…you torturing that boy isn't going to help anybody. If you love him…love him. Don't play with his heart."

I made a face. "I won't play. I promise."

Haymitch smiled and ruffled my hair. "Get some rest, sweetheart." He left me alone in the darkness, and I closed my eyes, once again fearing the night. Footsteps made me sit up though, and my bedroom door opened…a massive shadow filling the frame. The shadow took a step in and I breathed a sigh of relief mixed with anticipation. Peeta had returned to me.

Without a word he crawled into the bed next to me, wearing nothing but some soft pants. I pressed myself against his bare chest and he wrapped his arms around me. Neither of us spoke, but I could tell he was lying with his eyes open. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.

I turned to face him and kissed him with every drop of energy I had in my heart to give.

And what was so great…

He kissed me back.

TBC


	3. My Love is Real

Hi everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by the great responses from this story. I'm having such a blast writing it…and look forward to any and all suggestions. I noticed my page breaks aren't transferring…so I've altered how I "time break" in the story…It should clear up any confusion.

I apologize for the length. This chapter was just so damn fun to write!

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

So let the lemons begin!

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 3

My Love is Real

_I turned to face him and kissed him with every drop of energy I had in my heart to give._

_And what was so great…_

_He kissed me back._

I woke the next morning before the sun…my second night with no nightmares. Peeta was still in sleeping in my bed; he had one arm tucked under his head, and his other firmly around my waist, his very large hand flat against my stomach. My leg and arm were sore, so I shifted slightly, sitting up in the dark room. He moved slightly, but his eyes remained closed, his breathing even. I watched him for a moment, my eyes taking in every contour of his strong chest, his muscular arms, and his work-calloused hands. His beautiful face slightly scarred, but so peaceful in slumber.

His hair was tousled and flattened from a night of pressing into my pillow, and I blushed when I remembered how I had let him kiss me…and how I had run my hands through that silken blond hair. My blush deepened when I remembered what else my hands had been allowed to do. And what I had allowed his hands to do in return. We were so new to this-and Peeta had stopped me before anything serious could have happened.

With a sigh I traced my finger down the side of his face, barely touching him…but committing him to memory. I feared falling in love because I didn't want to lose him. But the cat was out of the bag…I had confessed my love in the woods when he had slipped into an episode. My throat still hurt, but I vowed not to mention it ever.

Peeta sighed and he caught my hand in his, opening one sparkling blue eye just long enough to glance me up and down. Before I could blink, he had me lying back down in bed, covering me with his body, but I barely felt him…so entranced was I by his startlingly intense gaze. His mouth met mine, and in a barely restrained urgency, he kissed me. I felt the fire that had licked at my heart and stomach last night return and I kissed him back. But he pulled away before my flames could even ignite into something greater. With a look of regret he shook his head.

"Not yet, Katniss. We're not ready for this yet." My jaw dropped again but I nodded and sat up. We grinned at each other for a minute until Peeta gently brought me into his arms. I sighed in pleasure and closed my eyes…listening to his strong heartbeat.

I must have dozed off, because when I opened my eyes again, the sun was up, and Peeta was gone from my bed…but another note was pinned to my pillow.

I have a surprise for you. Come to my house when you get up. I love you, Katniss. Leaving your side this morning was the hardest thing I have ever forced myself to do. Soon, P.

Curious, I quickly showered and dressed, limping slightly as my stiff leg made it clear its displeasure at movement. I had to keep the stitches in for 2 weeks…but that wasn't going to stop me from remembering how to live. What was another scar for a body so firmly decorated in scar tissue already?

I threw on my father's hunting jacket, surprised to find a dandelion in my sleeve. A grin spread across my face, and I tucked the flower into my hair. The walk to Peeta's was quick, and even from the porch, I could smell the bread baking. Something chocolate…my mouth began to water as I let myself into the warm house, hanging my jacket on the coatrack.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice echoed from the kitchen…and I followed both the sound of his voice, and the smell of whatever piece of heaven was sure to be cooling on the counter. I was surprised by much, much more when I entered the kitchen.

Peeta was sitting at the table, a mug of something warm in his hands. A tray of muffins sat in front of him…and someone else at the table, they turned when I entered the kitchen. Johanna Mason, with her short hair and beautiful smile, jumped up and hugged me in a startlingly strong embrace. Before I knew what had happened, I had wrapped my arms around her too, and we sank to the kitchen floor, both crying…our tears both happy and sad. Peeta lets us have our moment, and then very gently, he gets both of us settled at the table, mugs of hot tea quickly placed before us.

Johanna wraps her hands around the mug and took a small sip, her eyes closing as a throaty sound of enjoyment escaped her. "I came to 12 with Gale…just to see you. Reports from the capitol were that you were catatonic…this is not what I see."

I smiled slightly and thanked Peeta for serving us muffins…soft white bread with chocolate chunks melted in. "I've had an epiphany of sorts lately."

My friend snorted. "Yea…you almost got yourself killed. Again. Brainless." But she smiled and reached out a hand. I gladly took it, noticing that she was bathed.

"You're finally dealing with water?"

"It takes a while…but yes…I can now shower and bathe without having a panic attack." Her eyes sparkled as she shot a sly glance at Peeta. "I was actually just about to ask our friend Peeta here if he wanted to join me for a warm bath." I was too happy to see her to take offense from the joke and I merely laughed.

Peeta blushed a crimson red and kissed my hand. "Sorry, Johanna…my loyalties lie to a different Victor." She snorted and finished off her muffin.

"So Gale told you Paylor's plans then?"

I hesitated. "Vaguely."

Johanna shook her head. "He's an idiot. He purposely volunteered to come back here…hoping he'd find you all comatose, and be able to save you. Or at least convince you that you needed HIM to survive…not Peeta. Of course that's not what he told Paylor. He told Paylor that he knew the terrain of 12 well, and would be an asset to providing crucial information in building a defensive wall to stop wildlife from coming in." She took another sip of her drink. "Anyways…Paylor wants you two to come to the capitol."

I had been expecting this news and took it as gracefully as I could manage. Peeta was watching me carefully, waiting for tears, an outburst, or maybe for me to flee. I was good at running away from bad news. With a sigh I nodded. "I kind of felt this coming. I've had peace for months…it was too much to ask to make it permanent."

Johanna made a face, but didn't say what she was really thinking. But I could tell what her thoughts were. She saw me as a broken little girl, barely pieced together by modern medicine, and so fragile. The limelight of the capitol would be the death of me. We both knew it, but tactfully chose to push that daunting thought to the back of our minds.

Thankfully, Peeta changed the topic. "Why don't you two girls go for a long walk in the woods? It's beautiful outside…might be the first truly warm day this spring. You two have a lot to catch up on. I'll take care of dishes." As if to prove his point, he cleared the table of our plates and mugs and kissed me on top of the head. I had no choice to acquiesce.

-.-

The walk through the forest was silent. I had too much on my mind to organize it into cohesive thoughts, and Johanna was probably suffering from the same. What do you say to one of the few people who actually get you?

When we came to my rock-the rendezvous point for me and Gale-Johanna stopped and placed her hand on Rue's name which I had so painstakingly carved a few days before. We sat on the cool surface for hours, watching the sun move across the sky, listening to the birds around us. Finally…after hours of silence, Johanna's face twisted into a frown. "The hardest part about being a victor is knowing how many others died for you to claim the title. Even with the money, the fame; the pain never really goes away. Especially now…look at us…we are so broken."

I didn't respond right away, but gingerly shifted on the rock, keeping my injured leg outstretched so that the stitches wouldn't rub against the fabric of my pants. I knew of Johanna's nightmares. We would often wake each other up with our screams back at 13. "I would have rather died, I think…knowing what I know now. But at least we meant something." Johanna snorted.

"Maybe you and Peeta meant something. The rest of us were just champions of one game or another-forced into prostitution and a shallow existence."

Shaking my head I placed my hand gently on her shoulder. "You don't mean that, Johanna. Sure, the crimes against you and the previous victors were terrible. But you meant something to the revolution. You, Finnick, Beetee, Wiress, and Haymitch…you all gave voices to a whisper. You saved me…that has got to count for something, right?"

Johanna snickered. "Yea…I deserve a lot of recognition for saving your brainless ass. I swear…you couldn't even kill Snow without making a scene." Her laughter was contagious and soon we were both slumped over each other, giggling like little school girls over something that wasn't even remotely funny. But the laughter helped us forget the pain. When our giggles subsided we each fell silent.

Finally I smiled at her. "You've become a good friend to me, Johanna Mason. It would have been a shame if I would have carried through with my plan to bury an arrow in your skull during the games."

Her brown eyes cut to mine and she grinned again. "Yes. That would have been terrible. I still regret not introducing my ax to your face…me and Peeta…we could have made cute babies."

My laughter echoed through the trees, her throatier laugh joining mine in pure, natural joy. "Oh you wish."

She smiled. "I noticed you two were practically glowing this morning. Anything to report, Soldier Everdeen?"

"I don't kiss and tell."

"Not even to me, your sex-starved new best friend who has saved your stupid ass multiple times?"

I thought for a moment. "Peeta and I are close." She snorted and I rose to defend myself. "We haven't had sex yet, if that's what you're implying. But just waking up in his arms significantly improves my mood. I've never felt this way about anyone, Johanna. Not Gale, certainly…Peeta does something to my very soul. I told him I loved him when he was having an episode."

"And do you?"

I slid to the cool grass and leaned against the rock, locking my hands behind my head. "I do. I really do. I know that Gale and Peeta talked amongst themselves, and decided I would pick whoever I couldn't survive without. At first that hurt, but they were right. You see…I don't need Gale's spark, his fire…I have more than enough of my own. But Peeta…Johanna…he's perfect. He understands my need for space, and knows how to reach me in my darkest moments. He's gentle, kind, patient, and more than I deserve. I can't survive without him…because I've come to realize, I don't want to be without him."

Johanna had been listening with tears in her eyes, and wrapped her arms around me. We sat together for several minutes, our heads together, our arms tangled around each other. Sure, Prim had been brutally ripped away from me by the revolution. But the revolution had, in its own twisted way, granted me a new sister. I hadn't felt this comfortable around another girl since Prim.

A cough made us jump and reach for our weapons, twirling to face whatever attacker might have appeared. With instincts only battle-hardened veterans of war could boast, we were armed and ready for a fight before either or our bodies hit the ground for cover. I had an arrow notched and aimed, and had to breathe a shaky sigh of relief when I saw who our targets were. Peeta and Gale were standing a few feet away, their hands up in alarm as an arrow and an ax were suddenly, and quite viciously aimed at them.

I relaxed my bow and glared at them, my heart racing in my chest. "You two…of all people…should know better than to sneak up on us." Johanna echoed her sentiments, and lowered her ax.

Gale made the first mistake. "I'm surprised your reflexes are so quick still. You've been without any action for a few months." Johanna's ax neatly buried itself inches from his big toe and Gale jumped. "Oh come on…I was joking."

Peeta shook his head. "You girls had been gone for a while. We had started to get worried." I made a face but allowed him to approach me and wrap his arms around me.

"You're lucky I like you."

He chuckled. "You're lucky I love you." The four of us returned to Peeta's house and Peeta served an early dinner.

Conversation was awkward, with Peeta and Gale posturing for dominance. It was enough to have Johanna rolling her eyes, and me wishing I were anywhere but here.

Gale finally gave up and turned to me. "Did Johanna tell you Paylor's idea of bringing you to the capitol?" I nodded uneasily. Gale continued, "she's excited about the opportunity to enhance the Mockingjay image. You disappeared after Snow's death…she wants to show the world that you've survived your ordeal and are none the worse for wear. The media will be drooling to get their hands on you. I think they're even planning on dedicating the training area, which has been converted to a military and police training facility, to the victims and survivors of all 75 Hunger Games. With you leading the ceremony.

I felt the blood drain from my face, felt Peeta jump up and catch me as I slid down my chair, but I didn't hear anything. Only my heart pounding in my ears as I struggled to come to terms with what I had been told. Peeta sighed and cradled me against his chest as I blinked rapidly…fighting tears that threatened to spill. Johanna shook her head, and slapped Gale's arm.

"I told you that she wasn't ready, you idiot. Paylor never confirmed that plan. She wanted to see how Katniss was. And judging by her reaction, she's not well. I'll go call her and fill her in. You're in no condition to face this, Katniss." Johanna stood up and pressed a kiss into my forehead. "We'll get through this together. Just like 13."

She whispered something to Peeta that was just low enough for me to not hear, and left after patting him on the shoulder, dragging Gale out the door. I could hear her start to yell at him the minute they stepped off the porch, and that brought me some comfort. Peeta picked me up and carried me to his bedroom, gently laying me on the bed before heading to the bathroom to draw a hot bath for me. I sat up and shook my head.

"Peeta, I can't go back there. I thought going to the capitol would be okay…that I could get through that. But the training center…I can't…so much death…" he caught my hands before I could bury my face in them.

"Shh. Katniss…we won't do anything you don't want to do." He kissed me softly and led me to the bathroom. I stopped him at the doorway and looked into the bathroom, my mind moving from the trauma the capitol would cause, to having to face the families of the other victors who hadn't survived the rebellion. My eyes wandered to the tub that was quickly filling with hot, steamy water. The tub was large…just like the one at my house, big enough for 3. Peeta had added a nice smelling bubble solution, and was laying out a towel for me.

I shook my head. "Peeta…don't leave me." He looked confused.

"You need to relax. I'll be downstairs while you soak." I shook my head again, and his eyes darkened slightly. "Then what do you want me to do, Katniss?"

Taking a deep breath I pulled my shirt up over my head and let it drop to the floor. His eyes immediately shifted from my face to just slightly lower, but he forced himself to meet my gaze. I undid my pants and stepped out of those as well, taking one step closer to him in just my lacy black underwear-courtesy of my stylists the last time they had been here.

In the panic of my mind, something was finally making sense. The puzzle pieces of my life were finally coming together for me. I did love Peeta. So much so, that I hurt my heart to deny it. He loved me. We had been through so much together, and alone. I was his sunshine in the storm, and he was my light in the darkness. And now…in my panic, my grief, and my despair…I wanted him. I wanted his strength, his love…Him.

Peeta didn't move away when I stepped closer to him. Nor did he flee when I grabbed his hand and placed it on my waist. His nostrils flared as I ran a hand down his flat stomach, grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging upwards. It was only seconds before he was bare-chested, the t-shirt discarded on the floor. With wary blue eyes he let me slide off his pants. We were in only our undergarments, and the fire that had normally been contained to my belly was roaring through my body. I could feel the heat licking at my legs, burning my skin, making my blood boil.

And when Peeta brought me close, so that my cool skin pressed against his warmth, and buried his head in my neck, the fire exploded into a raging inferno that threatened to consume my very soul. With a boldness that I didn't even know existed in me, I stepped away from him, and removed the black lace. His eyes, now a murky blue, darkened to a powerful gray. I made a mental note to explore the different eye colors later. Standing before him, completely naked, I turned and slipped myself into the filled bath. The hot water did nothing to calm the burn I felt. And when he pulled off his boxers and joined me in the tub, my burn turned into fire itself.

At first he was hesitant. Almost in awe of the trust I was putting into his hands. I purred in delight as his strong hands ran up my legs, his thumb lightly brushing over my heated center. The bubbles hid my view of us…but I knew he was hard and ready. But was I? Physically yes…mentally…I bit my lip and straddled his lap, my breasts peaking over the water's edge, the cool air causing them to tighten. Yes. I was ready. I wanted this. I wanted Peeta.

I wanted him to make me forget my pain. I wanted him to erase my fears and banish my worry. Peeta took a deep, ragged breath and lowered his mouth to cover my nipple with his lips. His teeth gently nipped while his tongue soothed, and my need grew. His strong arms wrapped around my body, holding me at an angle where I was immobile against him, his tongue and teeth combining to exquisitely torture my senses. My hand found him hard and taught, and he gasped as I grabbed him. We were locked in an embrace that I didn't want to end.

His fingers found me and he slipped one up into my heated flesh. I called out his name as stars appeared before my eyes. He released his hold on me and readjusted me so I was sitting on one of the steps that led into the tub. With more look for approval, Peeta positioned himself between my legs and kneeled on the step lower than mine, gently pushing himself into me. The pain was unbelievable, and I locked my eyes with his as he filled me, inch by excruciating inch. His large manhood filled me, stretched me, pushing my body to the limit. When he was fully emerged in my heated body, he paused.

"Katniss…" I shushed him and adjusted, relieved when the pain subsided, allowing something much more enjoyable to fill the void. He waited until I was ready and after a deep breath, began moving, his thrusts slow and powerful, every muscle tightened from the effort of maintaining control. The water lapped at my breasts and I cried out as his pace quickened and my body adjusted to the pleasure he was causing. As I became more comfortable, Peeta adjusted my body, his hands gripping my hips, changing the angle and depth of his thrusts. My nails raked across his back as I struggled to hold on to the raw emotion that threatened to consume me.

Suddenly, he stopped and separated himself from me. I cried out in protest, but he only lifted me out of the tub, wrapped me in a towel and hastily dried us off. I was dripping with my own wetness, and I looked at him, confused for a moment. Peeta picked me up and carried me to his bed, gently laying me down before him.

"God, Kat…you're so damn beautiful." And he gently slipped inside of me again, whispering barely discernible words of endearment in my ears as we made love. The tub had been raw and awkward…but here…lying with him in the soft luxury of his bed, tangled limbs and breathless sighs…I realized the difference between sex, and love-making.

The boy with the bread, my best friend, my…lover. This man who embodied everything that I was not…was making me…feel. My orgasm was raw and overpowering and I cried out Peeta's name again and again as he shuddered to an agonizing stop, pulling me closer as he came inside of me, filling me with his hot seed. I felt the warmth of him spread and bloom in my very center, and he collapsed on top of me, not crushing, but enveloping me in his embrace. After catching his breath, he propped himself up on his elbow, disengaging himself from me, but bringing me close to him.

"Katniss…"

I shushed him again. "Peeta."

He smiled and pushed a sweaty strand of hair from my face. "You love me. Real or not real?" His voice was a whisper.

I knew my answer before he even finished and returned his smile. "Real."

TBC


	4. Happiness

Hi everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by the great responses from this story. I'm having such a blast writing it…and look forward to any and all suggestions. I noticed my page breaks aren't transferring…so I've altered how I "time break" in the story…It should clear up any confusion.

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

This is a shorter chapter, but the next one is long…I just couldn't find a way to break the timeline up any nicer.

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 4

Happiness

_He smiled and pushed a sweaty strand of hair from my face. "You love me. Real or not real?" His voice was a whisper._

_I knew my answer before he even finished and returned his smile. "Real."_

Love is a powerful tool. It can make a person warm and fuzzy feeling inside, it can unite seemingly polar opposites, and it can forge new countries, communities, and families. But what it can't always do is stop the nightmares.

In my dream I saw the dead tributes from my first Hunger Games. The first body, appearing out of a fog, was Glimmer, swollen and poisoned by the stings. I saw Cato with his eyes pleading me to end his misery. Clove shimmered before my eyes, her head crushed from Thresh's anger, a knife meant for me still in her hands. Thresh, he appeared before me too…but his face wasn't in death, it was just sorrowful, angry, and vengeful. Behind him, I saw Rue, laid out in her bed of flowers. And as I approached her body, her eyes snapped open and one cold, decaying hand grabbed my arm, pulling me forward. Her eyes were white and film covered, and her mouth opened and I could smell death.

"You have to go to the capitol, Katniss. We all need you to remember us. Isn't that why we died for you? So the Mockingbird could sing?" Her face changed to that of Peeta's. I stared in horror as his features began rotting, his eyes sinking in to the depths of his skull, his flesh practically melting off of him.

I woke up screaming, feeling Rue's icy hand still on my wrist, but seeing Peeta's death visage still in front of me. Jumping out of bed I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I stayed curled up on the floor crying until Peeta, who I had startled out of sleep with my screaming came and gently picked me up, cradling me against his chest while he carried me back to bed. He tucked me in and left to grab a warm cloth. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he dried my tears and wiped my sweaty forehead, changing me out of my sticky clothing to just one of his t-shirts and my underwear.

"Want to talk about it?" I shook my head, afraid that if I opened my mouth the tears would only continue. He nodded and wrapped himself around me, his strong heartbeat soothing me back into a restless sleep.

-.-

I woke later in the morning and shuddered as I remembered my dream. Peeta was still in bed with me, but his eyes were open. He must have been awake for some time…there was not a trace of sleepiness in his eyes. Instead, he was watching me with a quiet intensity that made me uncomfortable.

"You called out Rue's name after I got you to sleep again."

I diverted my gaze. "Yea…she was in my dreams." I didn't tell him that he had been too. Dead.

Peeta pushed a lock of hair from my eyes and kissed me. "Are you okay?" I nodded and he sat up in bed, looking out the window with a frown. It was then that I noticed the pouring rain. It was as if the sky had decided to dump everything it had…I had never heard such pounding force from the rain before.

With a small grin, I settled back into his body and pushed him back down onto the bed. "Mister Mellark, I do believe that this weather is much too ferocious to be going out in. Perhaps you should take my advice and stay indoors. All day."

Peeta laughed and flipped us so that I was resting comfortably on his chest, my legs spread over his strong thighs. "Oh yeah, Miss Everdeen? Are you some sort of weather forecaster? Should I really be that concerned?"

I nodded gravely. "Rain is nothing to laugh at, good sir."

He played along, returning my serious gaze. "Alright then…if the lady wishes me to stay, then I shall stay." He pinched my bottom and I jumped. "Care to make it worth my while?" Smiling at him, I pulled his shirt off of my body, letting it fall to the floor with a whispered thud. His eyes darkened again, and I leaned forward, brushing my lips against his, my breasts softly pressing into his bare chest.

"You're eyes change color." He looked up at me confused, and I continued, sitting up with my legs straddling his hips, my bottom brushing against the hardening length of him. "When I touch you different ways, or when I do certain things, your eyes change."

Peeta licked his lips as I ran a hand down his chest, my fingers dancing at the waistband of his boxers. "I never really noticed."

I smiled and shifted so I could pull his boxers off and remove my own panties. Straddling him again I giggled as his eyes, which had returned to their vivid blue, darkened. Keeping my gaze on his, I gently lowered myself onto him, sucking in a breath as he stretched and filled my already sore body. Every inch I dropped onto him, his eyes grew darker and darker. When he was fully encased in my heated body I began to move. Awkwardly at first, but slowly I found my rhythm. I found that if I flexed my thighs and kept my abs tight, Peeta would groan and grab onto my hips with his hands, urging me to ride him. I kept by back straight; my eyes closed as I painstakingly contorted my body to pleasure us both.

Last night had been amazing…this morning was something completely different. I felt in control, and I let my hands wander his body. My breathless whispers became a stifled scream as his thumb found my clit. He rubbed, I rode…and before I knew it I was crashing into another blissful orgasm. Peeta smiled up at me and with a gentle movement, had me on my back. He hitched my knee up around his waist and proceeded to show me just how talented he was. His thrusts became harder, faster, and deeper…my wetness only fueling him on. When I felt myself tightening up for another explosion, he would change speeds, bringing me gently back away from the edge. I locked my legs around his waist and pulled him towards me, our lips meeting, searching for each other. He buried his head in between my shoulder and my neck as he came, my name hoarse upon his lips. Once again I marveled at how his warmth spread throughout my body, making even my legs and arms tingle in silent satisfaction.

He rolled off of me and onto his back, taking one deep breath after another. I smiled and snuggled into him. "Good morning."

Peeta laughed. "Morning, Katniss. God you're going to be the death of me." He planted a kiss on my head and slid out of bed. I couldn't help but stare. Peeta in clothes was enough to make me shiver. Peeta naked…well…he was like some of the statues I had seen in the capitol. Magnificently sculpted, but unlike the statues, he had his flaws…and those are what turned me on even more. He shoulders were broad, and so was his chest and a six pack trailed into the deep v-cut below his waist. Strong arms matched his strong leg, and the prosthetic made him all the more charming, and he stood in front of me, scarred and damaged, but magnificent. I blew out a breath and just stared.

"You're so beautiful. You deserve someone better than me. I'm hideous."

Peeta looked surprised but didn't say anything at first. Instead, he walked around to my side of the bed and pulled me out of it. Leading me to the full length mirror, he turned me to face it, positioning himself behind me. "Katniss…I think you're gorgeous." And he proceeded to run his hand down my cheek, meeting my eyes in the mirror. "You have beautiful gray eyes that have flecks of blue and silver in them. Your smile is contagious, and I fell in love with this hair the minute I saw it in two pigtails." His hand smoothed a line down my shoulder and arms. "You are a hunter…and your posture and your shoulders show it. You're proud, straight, and strong." He cupped my breasts in his hands. "These are my favorite parts of you. Especially this scar right here." His finger traced part of the burn scar that ran along the side of my breast. Then his hands dipped lower, smoothing the scarred skin of my stomach. "You have a strong core, I love the way you are feminine and soft but have so much muscle to show-off." I gasped as his fingers roamed even lower, brushing over the still wet area of my privates. One finger slipped inside of me, and I offered no resistance as slick as I was. He groaned and removed his finger from me; it was glistening in the soft light of the gray morning. "You, Katniss Everdeen, are marvelous. Simply beautiful to behold. Don't ever think differently."

I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Peeta."

He smiled and cockily headed to the bathroom, giving me a fabulous look at his backside. "That's what I'm here for." He barely dodged the pillow I playfully tossed at him.

-.-

After a luxurious and pleasurable shower, I was dressed in some warm pants and a sweater, watching Peeta make breakfast. He was only wearing his sweats, and a shirtless male in the kitchen was making me hot. Johanna let herself into the house, and gasped at Peeta.

"My goodness, Katniss! Make that boy put on some clothes!" She joined me at the table and we watched Peeta cook.

I shook my head. "He's just too damn pretty to keep hidden under all those layers."

Johanna nodded dreamily. "Amen to that, sister." We both giggled and Peeta, with a martyred expression on his face, served us eggs and bacon. He went upstairs to throw on a t-shirt, and Johanna took his absence to slap me in the arm. "No sex, hm?"

I could only laugh. "Oh…do I have some stories for you."

My friend bit into her eggs with zeal. "Well…if his talent is even half that of his ability to cook eggs, I'm jealous." I just grinned. Johanna sobered and frowned momentarily. "I yelled at Gale pretty good last night. He'll be dropping by soon to apologize."

I nodded and took a sip of my tea. "He has a lot of apologizing to do."

Johanna studied me with a funny look on her face. "He sure does. But are you ready to accept all the apologies?" I shook my head. "That's what I thought."

Peeta came back downstairs fully dressed, much to my disappointment. "Johanna can think?"

My friend made a face. "Ha. Ha. You know…I tell everyone what a nice guy you are. Turns out I could be wrong. You're just a pretty man." She chewed thoughtfully and then groaned. "Who can cook. Damn, Katniss…how come you didn't claim him sooner?"

Shrugging I winked at Peeta. "I was hoping for something better." Both Johanna and Peeta snorted and continued eating. I sat back in my chair completely happy.

For right now, I was truly content. It was a foreign feeling…but something I could definitely get used to.


	5. Time Heals Most Wounds

Hi everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by the great responses from this story. I'm having such a blast writing it…and look forward to any and all suggestions.

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

Ok…this has a "time recap" and then back to the present. I hope it flows well…

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 5

Time Heals Most Wounds

For right now, I was truly content. It was a foreign feeling…but something I could definitely get used to.

Weeks passed and Peeta, Haymitch, and I found our rhythm. Peeta baked and pained, I hunted and practiced my leatherworking skills, and Haymitch drank until the liquor ran out and raised geese in between train shipments. Thankfully, geese are hardy creatures…needing little-to-no care to survive. And in the evenings, or whenever there was free time, the three of us worked on our book. Gale and Johanna helped with building back up 12, and were also on wildlife control. Soon, district 12 was starting to look like something…albeit an empty something…but buildings were starting to take shape, and an actual neighborhood was being built where the Seam had once been. The Hob had been relocated to the heart of town, becoming the spine of the marketplace. The main vendors had little stands, each decorated with their signage and own personal touch. Rooba was even having a butcher shop opened two doors down from Peeta's bakery, and Greasy Sae had transformed her little dining counter to a full-fledged diner…with community seating and state-of-the art kitchens compliments of Gale's capitol influence. She named it the Hob…and it was one of my favorite places.

And with the passing weeks, Peeta and I grew stronger; both as a couple and as individuals. Peeta moved all his belongings into my house, and we set one of the spare bedrooms to be his studio for painting. He brought color into my dreary house, insisting on painting the walls and making it a home…not just a house. I even found the courage to unlock Prim's room for the first time since returning to 12 almost six months ago. We packed up her dresses and hair ribbons and donated them to one of the marketplace vendors who was a seamstress and sold used and new clothing. I kept Prim's journals safely tucked away in a box in my closet. Her room we kept empty, not yet having a purpose for it.

Both Peeta and I still had our nightmares, but we always managed to calm the other with whispers and kisses in the dark. I was addicted to Peeta, and it was no secret. Haymitch kept joking about our love, but we could tell he was happy for us. The request of Paylor still hung over our heads, but we had all agreed to hold out until all of us were ready to face the capitol. So far I was the only one still hesitating. But the men respected my fears, and left me alone on the issue. Gale, after a verbal beat down from Johanna, never mentioned it again, and Johanna understood me enough to know not to push the issue. But even I knew that I would eventually have to go, I couldn't keep dreaming about dead Tributes, and so I began to prepare myself for the trauma bit-by-bit in secret. No one, not even Peeta, knew of my self-therapeutic mantras.

Peeta had is painting for therapy, and Haymitch had his alcohol. I had the forest, Gale had his Peacekeeper work, and Johanna had me. In an interesting turn of events, she became my shadow, and I helped her work out her issues as we hiked and climbed trees, talking and hunting for hours.

The morning was promising to be the warmest of the new spring, and I opened my eyes to the sunlight streaming through the window. An ache in my lower body made me grin into my pillow. Peeta had been extra feisty last night…and I had screamed his name at least three times in the night thanks to his lips, his body, and those magical hands. I could hear Peeta downstairs already in the kitchen, and the smell of cinnamon was all it took to get me out of bed. Slipping on my underwear and one of Peeta's shirts, I padded down the stairs and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, silently watching Peeta work.

He turned to me and his face lit up into a slow grin. Abandoning the stove, he crossed the kitchen to reach me, kissing me softly. "Katniss…when you come down here wearing nothing but my shirt, with your hair down in these sexy waves…you make me want to take you back upstairs."

I smiled and returned his kiss. "Good morning to you too."

"Oh gross! Will you two take a break for once? I'm sick of coming over and seeing one of you half naked!" Peeta chucked as Johanna and Gale entered our house, and I made a mental note to start locking the door. This had become a morning ritual. Gale and Johanna would come over for breakfast, sometimes followed by a usually hung-over Haymitch. We would eat as one big family and then disperse to pursue our different activities for the day.

Peeta released me and shook his head. "Why Johanna, does my obvious affection for Katniss make you uncomfortable?"

Johanna shook her head. "No…I can handle that. Kat's lack of pants is the only thing to really make me squirm."

I laughed. "Says the girl who stripped naked in an elevator."

Johanna shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a reformed woman." She winked at me and Gale cleared his throat.

"So…about that breakfast…" I laughed again and shook my head. That was obviously my cue to put on some pants. Heading upstairs I quickly showered and changed, dressing in my hunting pants and a light tunic. Breakfast was fast. Peeta and I had to go to tow, he had to check the progress on his almost complete bakery, and I had a doctor's appointment. Johanna and Gale were going to do their jobs…excited to report that the Mutts were almost all completely exterminated.

As Peeta and I walked into town, I laced my fingers through his and he smiled at me. "I'm glad to see you so happy."

I mulled his words over in my head. I had never really thought that "happy" would return to my vocabulary. But on further inspection, he was right. I was happy. "I never knew I had it in me to be happy again. I guess I have you to blame for that." My voice was light and he laughed and kissed my hand.

"I have a gift for you."

Looking at his empty hands, I glanced at him curiously. "What is it?"

"A gift." I rolled my eyes and he grinned. "Come to the bakery after your appointment. You'll get it then." Peeta winked, "we'll consider it a celebration for a good bill of health." In the past weeks, I had gained a considerable about of weight back, and my hair had finally started growing back in. The doctor's appointment had been requested by doctor Aurelius to assure him that I was indeed improving physically as well as mentally.

I nodded in compliance and kissed him goodbye. "It had better be a damn good gift, Mellark."

Peeta laughed. "I think you'll like it, Everdeen." We parted ways with a final kiss, and I couldn't stop the goofy grin that plastered itself to my face as I walked into the health clinic.

-.-

I didn't have to wait long at the doctor's…business was slow with only so many people living in the district, and the doctor, a young man from 4 was able to see me quickly.

"So Miss Everdeen, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Good, I guess. I feel better than I have in a long time." The doctor nodded and checked my scars.

"Well, you're healing well. You're able to qualify for more skin corrective procedures if you want…the grafts took to your skin well enough." I thought his words over.

"Where would I have to go for that?"

The doctor looked sheepish. "The capitol…they're the only ones with the technology so far." I made a face and he laughed. "No hurry, Katniss."

We went over the rest of my physical, and two hours later I was on my way to Peeta's bakery-in-progress. The doctor had been impressed. I was still a few pounds under my goal, but that would come with time. The important part, he had stressed, was that I was healthy and strong.

When I entered Peeta's bakery, laughing at the makeshift door, he was nowhere to be seen. But in the center of the bare room were a table and two chairs. On the table, a vase with fresh cut wildflowers, gave the setting a cheerful atmosphere. Smiling I took a seat and Peeta poked his head out from the back room where the ovens which had arrived yesterday would be set up.

"Hello, beautiful. I thought we could do lunch?" I nodded and he brought out two plates filled with grilled rabbit, seasoned potatoes, and applesauce. "How was the doctor?"

I dug into my food and moaned as the delicious meat slid down my throat. "Office-like." Peeta made a face. "Sorry…it was okay. I'm healthy. Still got a bit of weight to gain though."

Peeta grinned. "Good. I knew it would be good news."

"So this was my gift? A delicious lunch with the man I love?"

Peeta shook his head and stood up. Grabbing our empty plates, he headed for the back room. "Wait here."

And so I sat patiently, wondering what on earth he had planned. After a few moments, Peeta returned to the table with a long wooden box in his arms. I looked at him curiously, but he only grinned and mouthed for me to open it. I did, and gasped.

Inside the box was a beautifully crafted bow. Made of a dark wood, it was long and supple, with wing-like ends. Intricate swirls and patterns were carved into the length of the bow, and it felt alive in my hand. I looked at Peeta in surprise.

He only grinned. "I had Beetee craft it for me. It works the same as your Mockingjay bow…but I figured that would only bring back bad memories, so I designed you a new one. Look at the grip."

I examined the grip of the bow closer, and tears welled in my eyes. The pearl that Peeta had given to me during the Quell was embedded in the grip, so that when I held the bow to shoot, Peeta's Pearl would be directly against my palm. Under the pearl, a single word was carved into the wood. Real. "Oh Peeta! It's so beautiful!" Peeta smiled and held out his arms. I threw myself into his lap and he held me close. I peppered his face with kisses. "I love you mister Mellark."

Peeta smiled. "And I love you." He paused, "just do me a favor." I nodded and his smile grew. "No assassinating presidents with this one."

-.-

(2 weeks later)

I watched Peeta bake, my elbows on the table, my hands cradling my head. Peeta's brow was knit in concentration as he kneaded and molded the dough into the consistency and shape he needed. A simple white shirt, covered in flour, did nothing to conceal his muscles as he worked, and I watched mesmerized. We were comfortable sitting in our kitchen in silence; him baking and me deciding that watching a man in the kitchen was for more thrilling than hunting.

After last night, we needed some quiet. I had finally gone hunting with Gale…allowing him to apologize for everything. It had been bittersweet to acknowledge that my best friend was no longer. But I decided that it was time to forgive. I couldn't ever hope to fully recover and live my life if I harbored an unconfirmed grudge. So I had allowed Gale the opportunity. That and I had wanted to show off my bow. We had spent hours in the woods, almost like the old days. And we had emerged close to sunset, our game bags, belts, and arms loaded with game to trade, cook, and save.

After unloading our haul at Rooba's and Sae's, Gale had escorted me back home, using the walk to confide in me his feelings for Johanna that had developed in the time that they had been here. I had been so happy for my best friends, both past and present, that I had thrown my arms around Gale's neck and had hugged him fiercely. Peeta had seen this, and it had triggered an episode. I had bid Gale a goodnight, and headed up to my porch where Peeta had been sitting in the wing we had hung, his eyes black, and his fists clenched. I t had taken me a solid hour to calm him down. And afterwards, Peeta had been so embarrassed, that he had gone to bed without so much as a kiss goodnight. We had ended up lying in bed next to each other, neither talking nor touching.

Today, the morning had been dreary and cold, and Peeta had kissed me awake, apologizing. I had graciously forgiven him, and then we had made love…and I used up every ounce of energy in assuring him that I was his. Breakfast with our friends had come and gone. Now, too exhausted to do much else, we had decided to pass another rainy day baking and trying out various recipes that Peeta intended on using for his bakery. The bakery which was set to open in three days' time. And by both of us trying recipes, it was assumed that Peeta would be baking, and I would be eating.

"Peeta…what if I get fat off of your baking? What then?" Peeta looked up from where he was molding a cake decoration made from sugar into a little tree. It was for the cake he was making for Johanna.

"You won't get fat."

"You never know. I have a capitol filled with judgmental people to impress. You should probably lay off making such delicious treats."

Peeta blinked a few times, as he realized what I had just told him. I was finally ready to go to the capitol. He smiled and then rounded the counter, cupping my small face with his large and floured hands. "Katniss…are you sure?" I nodded once and he lowered his mouth to mine. He tasted like chocolate.

I sighed happily. "You're lucky I love you."

Peeta grinned and left the kitchen. I could hear him locking our front door. He returned and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter. He parted my legs and stepped in between them. "I'm lucky you love me, hm?" I nodded, and he slipped his hands up my skirt. "Show me how lucky I am."

I grinned at him and let my body do my talking for me. Sliding off the counter, I winked at him and began heading up the stairs, discarding one article of clothing at a time. He followed slowly, his eyes never leaving me as I stripped bit-by-bit. Soon, I was standing in our bedroom's doorway, completely naked, beckoning him to join me. He couldn't strip fast enough and soon I had him just as naked as I was his penis completely hard and ready. I knelt in front of him pressed my lips against his velvety length…it twitched against my touch and Peeta exhaled sharply.

With a smile, I opened my mouth and wrapped my lips around him. He had to grab the doorframe as I pleasured him, moaning my name every time I sucked and licked a little bit harder. My tongue swirled around his head, and I shivered as some of his pre-cum hit my mouth, but I didn't stop. Too soon it seemed, he tangled a large hand in my hair and stopped me, pulling me to my feet. By this time I was dripping with need, and he laid me across our bed, his mouth trailing kisses down my neck and chest. Each nipple got some attention, and I was soon writhing underneath him…begging him to stop…to enter me and end my sweet torture.

He didn't listen, instead trailing his mouth lower, his tongue blazing a trail to my heated center. I saw stars as his mouth found my clit and he began sucking. And when one finger entered me, followed by a second, I screamed his name, begging him for a release. Peeta, not very good at listening, only continued…making my buildup overtaking my senses. Finally, I pulled him up to my, crashing my mouth against his. His lips were warm from my body, and he tasted of my desire. I found myself getting even more aroused at tasting myself on his mouth.

Peeta spread my legs and entered me quickly, and I threw my head back. From our angle sideways on the bed, I could see my reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, and watched fascinating as Peeta thrust in and out of me. From my upside down view; the mirror showed a dark-haired woman with olive skin, her face flushed with passion as a strong, blonde man moved above her, his eyes closed in concentration. Peeta opened his eyes suddenly, and met my gaze in the mirror. He smiled then and kissed me.

"You're beautiful, Katniss." And then we came together, crashing back down to earth in a wave of ecstasy and sweet release.

I lay under him, our bodies sweaty from yet another amazing round of sex, and grinned. "So do you realize how lucky you are yet?"

Peeta laughed and kissed me. "Oh yea…I get it now."

TBC


	6. What Goes Around

Hi everyone! Thanks SOOOO much for the reviews and favorites. I love having so many alerts in my mailbox! I hope I continue to entertain!

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

A few people have reminded me that some parts are OOC. My response to them is… "eh." It's really hard to keep in character when there's a lot to work with…but not a lot to go on. The way I see it, after the overthrow, all characters are given the opportunity to heal-and that might also include the way they act, think, talk…etc. I'm trying to keep them as true as possible…but that makes for a dull story. So…sorry, but you just have to deal.

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 6

What Goes Around

_I lay under him, our bodies sweaty from yet another amazing round of sex, and grinned. "So do you realize how lucky you are yet?"_

_Peeta laughed and kissed me. "Oh yea…I get it now."_

Today was not starting off well. And as I waited for Peeta to finish packing his bag, my nerves only worsened. Today was the eve of our return to the capitol for a six-week publicity tour, and it was also the one year anniversary of my assassination of President Coin. Timing, as Haymitch had so eloquently put it today at breakfast, was a bitch. So much had happened in that year. I had been tried, found to be mentally unstable, and had been banished to 12. I had fallen in love, picked up the pieces of my life, and made a conscious effort to improve my health. And with the one year mark, my exile to 12 was over…my probation complete. I was officially…a free woman. But to do what? To parade around at Paylor's insistence and become the Mockingjay again? I didn't think I wanted that life.

I had barely spoken a word to anyone, so lost in my thoughts I had become. And for the most part; Peeta had given me my space, Gale as well. I think the latter feared the collapse of our fragile friendship. But Johanna had been a constant presence by my side. She had helped me pack my two bags, her excitement barely containable as she talked about the food and fanfare that would be waiting for us at the capitol in two days' time. Effie had informed Johanna that my stylists would meet us at the train station, and we would get our makeovers and stay in the comfort of the President's manor.

Peeta zipped up his suitcase, and settled himself onto the bed next to me, effectively snapping me out of my gloomy sulk. How could I be miserable when I had a half-naked god sitting next to me? Wrapping his arms around me, he sighed and pressed a kiss into my temple. "Are you doing alright in there?"

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his strong chest. He smelled good enough to eat, and I inhaled deeply. "No."

"Maybe we shouldn't go."

I lifted my head for a moment. "Effie would have a heart attack, and I'm pretty sure Paylor would kill us. No…we have to go." I paused, and returned my head to his chest. "Besides…Johanna got me thinking about lamb stew."

Peeta chuckled and kissed me again, rubbing his nose into my hair. "If that's all it takes, I now have a powerful weapon to use against you." I didn't say anything but nipped lightly at the skin on his chest, and he made a noise deep in his throat.

I pressed a kiss where my teeth had nipped. "That's fine. I have an arsenal to use against you too, you know."

"Oh?" I nodded and grabbed his hand, bringing it up to my breast. His eyes darkened and I kissed him, capturing his mouth with mine before he could speak. I ran my tongue along his lips and he swore. I could feel the cool metal of his prosthetic leg pressing against my leg, forcing my legs apart, and I complied.

Just as he was about to run his hands up my dress, I scooted away from him, scrambling out of bed with a grin that I knew was mocking. "See? I have plenty of tools to use against you. So…in your current state, I'm guessing you'd do anything to get what you want."

The growl that erupted from his chest made me shiver with anticipation, and Peeta slowly rose from the bed, stripping off his boxers as he stalked me. I pressed myself against the bay window of our bedroom, and made sure to never lose eye contact…even though my gaze wanted to drift lower. It only took six steps for him to reach me…but he made sure every step counted. One hand caught both my wrists and pinned them over my head, as his other hand hitched up the bottom of my dress once again.

Peeta grinned at me. "Are you honestly going to challenge me about who has more to use against the other?" I had to lock my knees to keep myself from collapsing as his fingers found the wetness that he had caused. Two fingers dipped into me and probed deep. A third finger joined and I whispered his name. My legs parted for him, and he removed his hand, only to replace it with his hard penis. But before I could even enjoy the sensations he was creating within me, Peeta pulled out and stepped away, leaving me dripping, and confused.

"Peeta?"

The bastard actually had the nerve to swirl my juices off of him and lick his fingers as he sauntered towards the bathroom. "I think I win this one. Your move, Katniss." My mouth dropped open and I sank to the cushioned window seat.

"You'll pay for that, Mellark!" All I heard was his laughter as he stepped into the shower, and I resigned myself to a long evening of abstinence.

-.-

I woke up super early, before the sun had even risen, mentally preparing myself for the day. Peeta was awake too, and his blue eyes flashed when he realized I was awake. I was pressed against him, my leg thrown over his…and he looked like he was ready to jump me. I felt his morning wood press against my thigh as he turned me onto my back, parting my legs with his hands.

Normally when we make love, we are gentle and passionate. Today…Peeta was the exact opposite. The desperation of the day, the chaos that was about to erupt in our tranquil peace, was starting to rub us both raw, and gentle was not what we needed. My hands were pinned over my head as Peeta entered me, my legs spread wide to accommodate his size. His thrusts were so powerful and hard that I thought I would surely rip apart…but I stayed together, and my body responded to him, my hips matching his thrust for thrust. My hands were pinned, but my mouth was free, and I nipped at his earlobe, pleased when Peeta responded to my touch. Rolling the tender flesh with my tongue, I sucked and bit-until Peeta could no longer stand it and moved his head so that it was bent and against my breast. I screamed his name as his teeth found my pebbled nipple, and Peeta licked the spot he had bit. I came in an explosion of light and crashing emotions. My body quivered in his embrace and he slowed his thrusts, smiling down at me, at my satisfied appearance. But Peeta wasn't done.

He pulled out from me and stood up, flipping me onto my knees so I was kneeling in front of him, with a direct view of us in my now favorite mirror. Our eyes met as Peeta filled me from behind, filling me with the new angle. I gripped the bed sheets as I watched him. He was magnificent in the dawn of morning. The first pale rays of light from the rising sun glinted off his blond hair and his tanned skin. Broad shoulders and an even broader chest gleamed with a slight sheen of sweat, and his hands gripped my hips as he thrust into me. I could feel every movement, every shift he made against me, and soon I was climaxing, with Peeta joining me seconds later.

We collapsed on the bed, and Peeta pulled out of me, before playfully slapping me on my behind. "Good morning." I grinned and took a shaky breath, too spent to do much more than wave a finger at him. He laughed and leaned over, kissing me between my shoulder blades. "I love you, Katniss."

I rolled over and kissed him back. "I love you, Peeta." I looked at the clock and groaned. "We need to get ready." Peeta frowned but nodded.

Our morning ritual was completed in record time, with both of us showered, brushed, and dressed in under half an hour. Peeta had taken our bags downstairs while I had battled with my hair, and was laying out a simple breakfast of muffins and goat milk. Johanna and Gale entered my house with tired eyes and bleary faces-and numbly sat down and asked for coffee. It was too damn early for any of us to be up. And when Haymitch entered, with Effie following behind, dressed in a marvelously curly green wig and leafy suit…well…we knew any peaceful morning that we might have had…flew out the window.

-.-

The first night on the train brought back memories. So many memories. My only goal was to survive the night, and I laid awake; fearing sleep, knowing that my screams would let everyone in on my little secret. That I still feared the night. Only Haymitch and Peeta knew of my nightmares. Johanna had a good idea, and so did Gale, but they had yet to witness them. The only thing that gave me any sort of comfort was Peeta. And just as he had done on the train so long ago, he held me. His warmth, strength, and soothing words comforting me during my nightmares.

Of course, he was not without his problems; just steeping foot inside of the train had triggered an episode. But he had remained calm, his hands gripping the back of a chair as he had sorted through the real and the shiny of the episode. The only other person who had noticed was Haymitch, and he had helped me get Peeta back into our bedroom on the train.

Now, I lay with Peeta in the darkness…neither of us sleeping, but wrapped in each other's embrace, thinking of the past, the present, and at least in my case, the future. He sifted, and kissed the top of my head. "We should probably get some sleep, Katniss."

I sighed. "I'm afraid." He smiled then; I could feel the corners of his mouth curl up against my hair. Propping myself up on my elbows I glared at him in the darkness. "It's not funny!"

Peeta sat up, running his hand through his marvelous hair. "I'm not laughing at you. I was smiling at the change in you. The old Katniss would have never admitted she was afraid." He pushed a lock of my hair out of my face. "I like that you can be vulnerable every now and then."

Smiling, I kissed him and we returned to our laying positions, silent for a while. "Peeta?"

"Yes, love?"

"When we get home to 12…" I paused, unsure of how to say what I wanted to say, or why I was even saying it. "I want to do the toasting with you."

Peeta's breathing hitched, and he turned me so I was facing him. "You know what that means, Katniss…forever…with me."

I nodded. "I love you Peeta. It took me a long time to realize it…but you're what I need. You're my hope in an otherwise miserable existence. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't promise I'll make a good wife, but I'll try. I don't even know how I feel about kids yet, but what I do know is that there is no other person I'd rather be with." Peeta kissed me then, and I could feel the moisture from his tears mingle with our kiss. I rolled onto my back, bringing him above me, and his hands made quick work of relieving us of our clothes. He touch was gentle, his kisses tender and sweet, so different from the frenzied sex we had had earlier in the morning. My body sang as he trailed a path of fire down my chest and navel with his lips. He spread my legs, settling himself in between my knees, his tongue licking intricate patterns above, below, and over my swollen clit. He gently sucked at my flesh and I groaned. His teeth, his lips, his tongue…the torture was too much, and my mind completely blanked as he pleasured me. Soon, I was panting and whispering his name, begging him for some sort of relief. Peeta paused and crawled back up my body, kissing me as he slowly slid into me, settling his weight on his arms. I could taste myself on his lips, and it made me smile against him. Time seemed to slow all together as we made love, and it felt like we were the only two left in this world.

Peeta buried his head in my hair, his muscles straining as every movement within me became slower, stronger, and deeper. "I love you, Katniss. Forever."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling my face against the side of his head, sucking at his earlobe. "Forever." My voice was no more than a raspy whisper, and together we crashed back to earth, our bodies tangled and sweaty. The sweet ache that I knew so well made me stretch and I snuggled against him, not caring that we were sticky and had lost the sheets somewhere in the middle. His seed was warm inside of my body, and I my inner thighs were soaked with the evidence of our pleasure. Peeta sighed happily and whispered something in my ear that I failed to register. For I was already slipping into sleep.

-.-

I opened my eyes in the sunlight and took a deep breath, the smell of the meadow jolted me awake, and I realized instantly that I was dreaming. Bracing myself for death, I saw none…and momentarily relaxed. For once, my meadow was peaceful. Prim was sitting in a patch of dandelions, looking very much alive…and I feared approaching her and ruining the image. She held in her arms a bundle wrapped in soft blue cotton, and she looked up at me, her eyes smiling.

"Katniss...certainly took you long enough." I was confused, so I cautiously approached. "Don't be afraid, Katniss…it's me, Prim."

"You're dead, Prim." I felt the tears well as I sat next to her.

Prim nodded. "Yes. I am…but this is your dream. The reason you don't see me as I died is because you're finally starting to let go…to learn to live again." She handed me the bundle and I took it from her…too overwhelmed to say anything. It was an infant, swathed in the blue cloth, its eyes closed in sleep, its face peaceful and beautiful. Prim touched my cheek, her hand warm. "That child will represent everything you lost, and everything you worked to fix and achieve."

I looked up at my sister, startled. "It's mine?"

Prim nodded and peered over my shoulder. "She's your deepest wish, your biggest fear, and your most passionate plea. You'll grow to love her the minute you feel her inside of you." My sister smiled then. "She will be a beautiful child…and you…a beautiful mother."

I leaned my head against hers and we sat in silence for a moment. "Prim…when?"

She grinned and placed her hand on my abdomen. "Not now…not then…but soon." She kissed me and got up. "I have to leave now. Goodbye Katniss…and remember…" Prim turned to leave, and I could smell ashes and fire as she walked away. "May the odds be ever in your favor." And just as fast as I had seen her, Prim was gone. My tears fell freely now, and I looked back at the bundle in my arms, but it was no longer a sleeping baby. Rather, it was a bouquet of primroses and butterflies, their wings on fire. I couldn't help but laugh. Prim.

And then I woke up.

Peeta was still asleep, our naked bodies tangled together in a knot I was unsure about escaping. I gently slipped from his grasp, and threw on my robe, heading into our bathroom. I started the shower, and while I waited for the water to heat up, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hands pressed against my flat stomach. My dream had seemed so real. I had never wanted children before the reaping…I had told Gale as much in many of our conversations. Then at the quarter quell, with Peeta's announcement, there had been a stirring in my heart…and for the first time…I could see myself having children. Peeta's children. But I was such a broken human being. Was it even possible for me to have children and be a good parent? Suddenly, I found myself wanting a child…broken body and mind be damned. Smiling, I stepped into the shower and lost myself in thoughts of a child-a little girl-with my hair and Peeta's sparkling blue eyes.

Haymitch was the only one awake and in the dining cart when I went off in search of breakfast. He greeted me with a bleary smile and motioned for me to join him at the table. I made myself a plate of food and a mug of tea and sat down across from him.

"You're sober."

My mentor nodded. "Yeah…and not enjoying it. Effie's request though…I figured I'd make an effort." I raised my eyebrow, but said nothing. Haymitch made a face and took a sip of his coffee. "How'd you sleep, sweetheart?"

I smiled. "Fine. Peeta was a big help in calming me." I bit into my eggs and moaned. So delicious. "How about you?"

"Alright I suppose." He played with his food. "I had a dream about you."

"Scandalous."

Haymitch laughed. "Not that kind of dream. You're like a daughter to me, and Peeta a son. I could never see you two in any other light than the annoying child that I wish I would have had." I smiled and he cleared his throat. "I dreamed that you had a child in your arms and you were smiling." He looked concerned as I choked on my mouthful of eggs. "You alright there?"

Recovering, I nodded. "I dreamt about Prim, and she had my child in her arms. I got to hold it. A little girl with Seam coloring but blue eyes." Haymitch looked surprised, but recovered.

"Scandalous."

We both burst into laughter, brushing off our similar dreams as an absurd coincidence. Peeta joined us a moment later, his hair still wet from his shower. Kissing me, he joined us at the table. "Morning. What's scandalous?"

I shared a look with Haymitch who cleared his throat. "Capitol gossip. I was preparing Katniss for all the rumors that have been flying about you two. Hope you're ready for it."

Peeta smiled, and I squeezed his hand. "Haymitch…now that you mention gossip…when we get back to 12, I'm going to complete the toasting with Peeta!" Several things happened at once after this announcement. Effie, who had just entered the dining cart in time to hear my news, squealed and crushed me in a hug. Peeta jumped in surprise at a strange looking woman suddenly hugging me. I was just as shocked. See, Effie wasn't looking right. In fact…she looked downright…well…normal.

Haymitch didn't look surprised, however, and motioned for Effie to sit down. "I knew there would be a toasting soon. Congratulation you two." He shook Peeta's hand, but Peeta was so distracted by Effie, he hardly returned the gesture.

"Thanks…um…wow…Effie…you look…hmm…wow."

Effie blushed and pushed around her eggs. "Thank you Peeta." She looked at me, and I had to remind myself to not stare. "It's not too much is it?"

I gaped at her. Too much? Her wraparound blue dress was simple and elegant, with the smallest amount of cleavage showing. She wasn't wearing extravagant heels or anything, just her simple dress and simple heels. The biggest shocker was her hair. Today wasn't about a big wig and colorful makeup…no…she had let her natural hair, honey blonde waves, to hang down her back, with the barest hint of makeup on her pretty face.

"Effie…you look…beautiful."

She smiled at me and blushed. "I'm glad you like it. The old look just seemed out of place in the new capitol. Also, you're not my tributes…this isn't about me." She glanced up at Haymitch and blushed even deeper. "I figured I could make an effort."

I looked between the two, back and forth, at their secret smiles and shared glances, and my jaw dropped. "Oh…my…you two slept together!"

Peeta choked on his tea, but neither Haymitch nor Effie denied it. Peeta, master of words, recovered, "well, can't say I didn't see this coming. Um…as long as you two are happy. That's all that matters to us. Right, Kat?"

I nodded and locked eyes with Haymitch…a slow smile spreading across my face. "Absolutely." Oh…this was going to be an interesting trip.


	7. Ghosts That Won't Stay Dead

Hi everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by the great responses from this story. I'm having such a blast writing it…and look forward to any and all suggestions.

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

Ok…this has a "time recap" and then back to the present. I hope it flows well…

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 7

Ghosts That Won't Stay Dead

_I nodded and locked eyes with Haymitch…a slow smile spreading across my face. "Absolutely." Oh…this was going to be an interesting trip._

"There she is! Katniss!" I cringed as the high pitched squeal of Octavia hit my ears, the moment my foot left the stair of the train, planting itself firmly on capitol ground. I was here…and not very happy about it. The whole night had been spent in varying fits of anxiety. Haymitch had endured an entire evening of my innuendo and goading before ushering me off to bed. I had fallen into a fitful sleep; the only thing keeping me from jumping off the train was Peeta, who had firmly wrapped himself around me.

And now, only 1 hour after waking, I was face-to-face with my every-loyal stylist team. The return to the capitol had done them well…they no-longer looked emaciated and weak, and their colors had returned in startling brilliance. I could only blink in amazement at the swirls of colors; fabric patterns, makeup, hair, eyes…the three looked like a hovercraft filled with confetti had unloaded its cargo right on top of them. Peeta gripped my hand firmly, reminding me to be nice.

I cleared my throat. "How lovely to see you again." Octavia giggled and threw her arms around me. It took all my effort to not throw myself into an oncoming train. My team did a quick examination of my hair, nails, and skin…deeming me "workable" and declaring my still scarred body, a "frightful mess." Peeta once again squeezed my hand. Be nice. I ground my teeth but let them usher us into a waiting car.

Peeta and I had a car to ourselves, and I let out a breathless sigh. "You were right to make sure I wasn't armed." Peeta chuckled.

"Oh, Katniss…they mean well. They're like…well…little puppies. All they want is your love and affection." I shot him a glare and his chuckle turned into an all-out laugh. "Oh you should have seen your face…frightful mess…I thought you were going to snap someone's neck."

"You just wait…they're going to get their sparkly little hands on you too. And then we'll see whose begging for mercy."

Peeta's eyes darkened and he looked out the window, his body tightening. I felt his hand flex in mine, but I didn't pull away. Instead I rubbed his arm softly, willing him to fight through whatever memory he was having. When I felt him relax slightly, I leaned my head against his shoulder. My poor Peeta…being in the capitol was already a strain on him…and I had to go ahead and say something stupid.

We were silent for a while, and gradually, Peeta relaxed and his eyes became less and less foggy, until they were their normal brilliant blue. When he finally spoke, his voice was a mere whisper, and I had to strain to hear his words. "I did beg for mercy here once before, Katniss. Real or not real?"

I mentally slapped myself. "Real."

Peeta pressed his cheek into my hair. "I remember. I remember yelling for them to take me…to leave Johanna alone…her screams had been so agonizing." I wrapped my arms around him.

"You're safe now." He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Around you? I doubt it." I could only chuckle. The driver announced the President's Mansion, and we were escorted up the stairs to a waiting Paylor. The capitol appeared to have no effect on Paylor…she was dressed in a gray wrap-around dress with black heels, and simple jewelry. No sparkles for her. In fact…I looked at Effie, who was dressed in a simple pink skirt and white shirt, and smiled. It appeared to me that Effie was emulating Paylor. Out of respect, I assumed…and also for some district fashion tips.

Paylor hugged me tightly, and I returned her affection with zeal. For all our problems in the world, we were veterans of the same war. Both of us were women, one older than the other, who had watched our friends and family die-and had been thrust into a position of leadership; hers as the rebel leader of district 8, and then as President. When we parted, there were subtle tears in her eyes, which I assumed were in mine as well. With a small smile to me, she hugged Peeta and bid us welcome to her home.

We walked inside, and immediately, my stylists, and a team that was designated for Peeta, were ushering us away from each other…Octavia declaring it was time to get down to beauty base zero. I swore under my breath, but followed them.

For the next four hours, I was plucked, shaved, pulled, buffed, scrubbed, and clipped. It took 20 minutes for them to coax me into a pink-liquid filled vat that prickled my skin when I finally did enter it. Venia declared that it was to give my scars a boost…more effectively blending them into my skin tone. When I stepped from the foul smelling liquid, and was rubbed dry, even I could see the difference. I no longer looked like a patchwork doll. And, Venia announced…it was permanent. New skin for Katniss! Oh the medical miracles worked by the capitol.

Flavius clapped his hands and I was wrapped into a robe and quickly seated in a chair. "Now…about your hair, child." He held up a strand of hair. "You need to see me more often."

I gritted my teeth together and smiled at him through the mirror. "I make it my goal not to." Flavius looked stunned for a minute, but then chuckled. I was hushed and my hair was cleaned, cut, and extensions were put in to the still-thin parts.

When Octavia reappeared at my side, I was ready to snap. But all she did was hold up a green summer dress with a very feminine hemline, beaded straps, and my Mockingjay pin secured to the breast. The dress was beautiful.

"It was part of Cinna's design program for you. We found hundreds of sketchbooks, all labeled Mockingjay…I picked this one out for your first day back at the capitol. He would have wanted you to wear something sweet and feminine." She dressed me in the softest lace underwear I had ever felt on my skin, and then slipped the dress over my head.

It fit me like a glove, and I twirled. "Oh, Octavia…it's beautiful."

She grinned and held up a belt which matched the straps. "Cinna will be so happy." I looked up at her, but she suddenly had other things to look at, and quickly fastened the belt around my waist and turned away. I shrugged off her words as merely a slip, and slipped on my shoes.

Paylor knocked on my door and entered, her youthful face cracking into a smile. "You look fantastic. It is just how I pictured the dress to look when Octavia showed me the sketch. I'm glad we brought this to life…along with many others. You have an entire trousseau for all your appearances…each one designed by Cinna himself. He's a genius."

I nodded, unsure of why both Paylor and Octavia had referred to Cinna in the present tense. But I didn't question it…maybe the capitol had made them both a little crazy. Paylor led me to her office, and I was reunited with Peeta, who looked like the stylists had done him over good. The dazed look in his eyes as he turned to greet me was worth all the torture my stylists had done. A smile cracked his lips, and he hugged me tightly.

"You, Katniss…look amazing." He ran a hand down my newly skinned arm. "You took the bath too?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Yes. That was the worst part." Paylor laughed and motioned for us to sit.

"Yes…that bath is a new serum made by some of the doctors from Four. It's designed to firm up the skin you already have, and to tackle the scars. Katniss…the gouge in your arm is going to take a bit more than a bath…but we do have a miracle cream for that too, should you choose to go through with it." I nodded, and she smiled. "Good. I'll make the arrangements. The procedure takes about twenty minutes. I had my leg done…it looks good as new. And Gale had some of the larger scars on his back fixed…he'll testify to the power of the putty."

Peeta frowned. "He never mentioned it."

Paylor shrugged. "That's for him to tell you why. Now…let's get down to business. I have a whole list of appearances people are begging you to make. Dedications, hospitals, assemblies…and interview with Caesar of course…but I want you both to unanimously agree to these. I don't want to force you to do anything that you are uncomfortable with."

For the next twenty minutes, we debated all the different appearance requests, I vetoed the plaza memorial where Prim had been killed, and Peeta vetoed the prison tour. But other than that…we agreed to as many public appearances as possible within our time at the capitol. And it all started with the big public debut with Caesar's interview tonight. Paylor thanked us for our cooperation and ushered us out of her office.

"You two have free access to any part of the grounds. If you choose to leave, bring a guard with you. Other than that…I'll see you tonight at the debut…go enjoy yourselves." She paused, and looked around, her eyebrows raising high in a mock conspirator way. "I hear the cook has been DYING to feed you two…perhaps a picnic in the gardens? I made sure Gale and Johanna were off duty…"

I grinned and hugged Paylor again. "Thank you. For everything."

Paylor smiled. "Katniss…I don't think you realize how much you mean to the Rebellion. To the people who participated, and to the people who now live better lives because of it. You could ask for the stars and we would trip over ourselves to try and get them for you. It is I who should be thanking you."

She bid us a farewell and returned back to her office. Peeta grinned at me. "Let's go find that cook."

-.-

"You had better not be thinking about a picnic without us!" Johanna musical voice hit our backs as we exited through a door that led to the gardens. I turned and smiled at my two best friends as they hurried to catch us…armed with baskets and blankets of their own. Johanna looked like the stylists had gotten to her as well, her hair longer than it had been this morning, and her skin was shiny and vibrant. Someone had dressed her in a blue summer dress and she looked ravishing. Gale looked the same as usual, with his dark seam skin, hair, and eyes…but this was the first time I had seen him so relaxed looking as he followed Johanna.

I shot him a grin and he glared at me. Peeta wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and his other arm around Johanna's shoulder. "Thank you for joining us. Now I can say I'm the luckiest man in all of Panem…to be dining with two of the most beautiful women in the country. Gale…you too…count your stars."

Gale laughed. "I've never stopped." His eyes met mine with an intensity that made me nervous and I leaned into Peeta.

Johanna snorted. "Well…you two may have the prettiest women…but I think Everdeen and I could do much better in our choices."

I snickered and we walked into one of the gardens, laying out our colorful blankets in a clearing surrounded by high hedges, roses, and brightly colored flowers. Gale made a face. "Is everything in the capitol so colorful?"

Peeta nodded. "It takes some getting used to. That's for sure." We fell silent as delicious food was passed around and all of us dug in.

Finally Johanna spoke after swallowing a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "It feels weird to be back here." She looked at Peeta. "Like at any moment I'm going to be ushered back to my cell."

I shot her a warning look, but she ignored me. Peeta nodded. "I get that same feeling. We just have to remember that we're safe…that no one is going to hurt us."

Johanna nodded and stuffed more food in her mouth. Gale stretched his legs. "Nothing will happen to you three. There are plenty of guards and Intel to keep us informed, should anything come to light about an assassination." He looked at me again, and again I was shocked by the intensity of his gaze. "You three are too valuable to us to lose you."

But I had a strange feeling he was talking to me. "Well…that's reassuring." My voice cracked. "Can't wait to disappoint any would-be assassins."

Peeta chuckled. "We'll be fine. Might as well try to enjoy some of the festivities. I for one can't wait to see the gowns and outfits they have planned for you. Gavinia…at least I think that was my stylist's name…said all of your outfits are Cinna's. Strange thing was, she kept referring to him in the present tense."

Johanna tensed and looked at Gale who shook his head quickly. I squinted at him. "Strange…Octavia and Paylor did the same thing."

Now Johanna looked really uncomfortable. "He's a celebrity here. Your stylists have worked hard to keep his legacy alive. That's probably why." I knew she was lying, but chose to not call her out on it. I'd wait. But suddenly, I found my heart was beating faster. Was Cinna still alive?

-.-

"Citizens of Panem! It's been a long year, hasn't it?" The crowd roared its agreement at Paylor's greeting, and I felt myself tremble. Peeta's hand found mine in the dark where we stood on our secret platform that would rise up to the stage. "We have fought for much-the freedom of our districts, the safety of our young, and the promise of equality and safety for all!" The crows once gain thundered its agreement. I knew all the districts would be watching this, and I took a deep breath. "And Panem…I have a very special gift for you all on this night. Your Mockingjay has returned to you. But she is not the Mockingjay you remember with the flaming dress and the bow. Rather, she is a broken and scarred young woman-a phoenix which has risen from the ashes for you, citizens of Panem. She is here to show us that she has become stronger, better, wiser…and your Mockingjay, and her handsome counterpart-are living proof that life can and will continue. Citizens of Panem…I give you your Mockingjay!"

The platform beneath our feet began to rise as the crows grew louder. We rose to stage, our hands lightly clasped, smiles plastered on our face. And Panem got its first look at me since I had killed Coin. I was dressed in a Cinna gown made from the darkest fabric, with tiny gems that sparkled in the stage light. My hair was down, falling freely across my back, held away from my face by two clips shaped like bird wings. Peeta was dressed in a black suit with a dark gray shirt and silver tie, and his hand never left mine as we were hugged by a smiling Paylor and led to our interview chairs where Caesar Flickerman was waiting.

Caesar smiled at me. "You still know how to make an entrance, Katniss Everdeen. How are you? We haven't seen you on this stage since the interviews before that last game."

I hesitated, but Paylor had encouraged me to be as honest as possible with my answers. "I'm not good…but I'm getting better. I have a long way to go though." I looked at Peeta who was watching me intently. "I have someone to help me thought…someone who keeps the monsters and the nightmares at bay. But even he is not immune to the past and its ghosts." Cesar motioned for me to continue. I gripped Peeta's hand harder. "I see the dead in my dreams. I have for over a year now. Fallen comrades, friends, enemies…family," my voice cracked, "they are always with me. Rue, Thresh, Cato, Snow, Coin…the list goes on and one. The ones who died by my hand, or by my influence, it doesn't matter…I hold their deaths personally. I hear their voices; I see them how they died-not how they lived. The only good ghost, on occasion, is my sister. I see her broken and burned-a little girl caustically killed in a terrible act of war…but I also see her as the beautiful, confident young woman she had just started transforming into."

The crowd was silent, and I could hear some sniffles. Peeta was looking at me with sadness in his eyes…I had just told the world something only he really knew…and even then…I don't think he had grasped the magnitude of my dreams. Caesar laid a reassuring hand on my knee and turned to Peeta, eager to give me a moment to collect myself. "And what about you, Peeta? How are you faring? The last time I saw you were under much different circumstances."

Peeta nodded. "That it was. My head still hurts at the thought of our last conversation. I hope you managed to remove the blood from you coat? It was such a nice jacket."

Caesar chuckled. "Yes…it came out. Can't say I've worn it since though."

Peeta nodded seriously, but winked at the crowd. "That's probably for the best. It's so two seasons ago, anyways." The audience laughed. "To answer your question…I too am recovering still. I don't see the death that Katniss does…I see a past that never really existed. My last stay at the capitol transformed me into two people…I'm still learning who the real me is…and what did, and did not, really happen. And I still fear for Katniss' safety. Every day. I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is to reassure myself that she's by my side…she's real…she's alive. Even if she does snore a little bit." The crowd laughed again and I shook my head as Peeta raised my hand to his lips. His blue eyes locked with mine, and Peeta turned back to Caesar after a moment. "Thankfully, Katniss has agreed to be my wife-again-so I'll be able to keep her safe until death do us part. For real this time." The people in the audience leapt to their feet, their applause and cheers deafening.

Peeta snuck a small smile at me, and I couldn't help but laugh-the joy of the audience was infectious. He had a knack for announcing all the juicy details of our life to the capitol. How could I expect anything else? Caesar calmed the crowd down and turned back to us. "Well…I suppose congratulations are in order….again. Can we expect a capitol wedding, or perhaps another gown?"

I shook my head. "No…we burned the last one…remember? Besides…I lost Peeta once to the capitol…this is something that I was for just us and our family. I hope you don't mind."

Caesar smiled and patted my knee. "Katniss Everdeen-after all that you have done for this country, for the districts, and for her people-and after all you have lost and suffered through…how could we begrudge you any happiness?" I grinned at him, and inclined my head in thanks. He winked at me, and we continued on with the interview. The rest of it flew by in easy banter, and generic questions, and of course, baby plans. We evaded that one…but answered the rest as honestly as we could. When we wrapped up our goodbyes, and exited the stage to applause, Gale was waiting for us.

"Good job you two. You gave the gossips enough fuel for at least a week. That ought to keep them busy for a while. Let's get you two home." The drive back to the manor was quiet; I even fell asleep against Peeta. He had to wake me when we finally made it back to the manor, and carried me up to our room. Once inside, he completely stripped me of my clothes and did the same to his, letting our formal wear fall to a pile on the floor as he tucked us into bed.

I snuggled against his chest, pressing a kiss over his heart. "You did good, Peeta."

Peeta laughed and wrapped his strong arms around me. "Yeah? I was pretty good…you weren't too bad yourself. I loved your dress. All I could think of was getting you out of it." He yawned. "But now that it's off, and I have you naked in my arms…I'm just too damn tired to do anything about it." I laughed and kissed him once more.

"I love you, Peeta."

He blew out a breath and returned my kiss. "And I love you. Forever."

His eyes closed and after a moment, his breathing slowed as sleep overtook him. I lay in his arms for a moment longer before shutting my own eyes.

As long as I had him for support-I could face anything the capitol threw at me.

TBC


	8. Of Thee I Sing

Hi everyone! I'm so overwhelmed by the great responses from this story. I'm having such a blast writing it…and look forward to any and all suggestions.

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT.

_The Mockingbird Who Couldn't Fly_

Chapter 8

Of Thee I Sing

_As long as I had him for support-I could face anything the capitol threw at me._

"How'd ya sleep, Haymitch?" A very tired man glared at me from over his sunglasses as we settled into the car for a quick trip to see one of the Memorial Fountains that had been built on the outskirts of the capitol. He was sober, that was a plus, but I could tell the day would be a long one if I kept goading him. Peeta's silent warning made me smile warmly at our mentor and apologize.

Haymitch snorted. "For you information…sweetheart…I slept just fine. Alone. In my own bed. Without any company." This statement would have to go unproved, as a _very_ busy Effie had been unable to attend our _unscheduled_ outing.

It was my turn to snort. Peeta elbowed me in the ribs and I fell silent. We rode in silence through the quiet streets of the still sleeping city, and I marveled at the lifestyle that allowed the citizens to wake up after the sun had risen. Back at Twelve, we were up before the sun, the miners to their mine shafts, and the merchants to their shops. Hunting was best in the early hours. With the rebuilding, and the mines still closed and very little shops open yet, our mornings were slightly later-but nothing like this.

In an awkward silence, since for some strange reason, Johanna and Gale were refusing to speak to one another…and Haymitch had dozed, I rested my head against Peeta's shoulder, nuzzling my face into his firm and muscular arm. Peeta shifted slightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissed my nose. "Don't fall asleep."

I shook my head and peered out the window as the surroundings rapidly changed. As the buildings thinned out, revealing a thick, lustrous forest around the outskirts of the city, my heart rate sped up. "No one told me about the trees."

Gale peered out the window, nodding in my direction. "Yes. They are one of the city's best kept secrets. I had the chance to hike through a portion of it. Not a lot of game, but it sure is peaceful."

I pressed my nose against the glass, and Peeta chuckled. "Let's see the memorial first…then you can run around the woods for a while." He flexed his bad leg. "I'll find myself a park bench, and you and Gale can roam." I made a face. Peeta didn't like when Gale and I did _anything_ together…so this was not natural. His leg had been bothering him all morning, but the only reason I had found out was because it had taken him slightly longer to join me in the shower, and I had called him out on the limp.

"You need to make a doctor's appointment while we're here." Peeta dismissed my concern with a wave of his hand, and I frowned at him. If he was determined to suffer in silence, then I could do nothing for him.

We pulled up to a cheerful park, complete with swings, a slide, and a colorful jungle-gym. The lost little girl in me yearned to swing on the swings, to feel the breeze in my hair…but I restrained myself and helped Peeta out of the car. We walked to the memorial, and tears sprang to my eyes.

The fountain was small, maybe only 15 feet or so in length, with three jets of water bursting out of it. In the middle of the water, a platform had been built, and a beautiful stone likeness of Rue, with her eyes closed and her arms outstretched had been sculpted. She was surrounded by flowers at her feet, and a plaque had been placed at the edge of the pool. _"For the young who died far too soon, may the odds always be in their favor."_

Peeta let me stand silent for a while, rubbing my back while I cried for my fallen friend. No one had told me of the memorial being in her honor-but from the faces of my companions, they were just as startled as I was.

Johanna acted first and held up her hands in the District 12 salute that I had done after Rue's death. I copied her movement, and the two of us stood in silence, our arms outstretched. Finally, I lowered my arm and Johanna pulled me into a tight embrace.

Haymitch gruffly cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional stuff, and asked if we wanted to spend some time here…after all, Effie had given us the free afternoon. We had nowhere to be until the dinner with some of the other surviving Rebel leaders. I looked at the forest longingly, and sighed. Peeta smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Go on, Katniss. Run…be free for a while. Ease your heart and your mind." I nodded, and Peeta turned to Gale. "Keep her safe." His eyes narrowed as he stared at my friend, and Gale nodded.

I kissed my lover and followed Gale into the woods. We were silent as we hiked, the only sounds were the songs of the birds overhead.

Gale broke the silence first. "You're in love with him."

I laughed. "Is it that obvious?" He smiled wryly, and I laid a hand on his arm. "Oh Gale…you're my best friend. But you could never be more than that…we…we're too similar."

Gale's beautiful face turned into a frown. "You honestly don't think you could have been happy with me, Catnip?"

I shook my head and stopped walking, turning him to face me. "Gale…" I put my hand on his heart, comforted by the strong heartbeat. I had to somehow convince him that we weren't right. "We're too much the same. We share the same fire…I don't need any more fire. I need peace-I need the dandelion in the spring, not the raging inferno. I love you…that I can confirm is true. But like a brother-my best friend. You know more about me than I know about myself."

He shook his head. "You're wrong you know."

Shrugging I removed my hand from his chest. "That may be. But I'm happy. Besides…you're not in love with me. You're in love with the idea that we could have been something had this all turned out differently. It's the same way I look at Peeta. Besides…I thought you told me you had feelings for Johanna."

Gale made a face. "She's not interested in me."

"She would be if you showed her more interest. She sees the way you look at me…why would she be interested? You're a handsome man, Gale…but your personality can be downright lousy." I grinned at my friend. "So if you just work on that…she'll fall in love with you."

He grinned back at me and I stretched up onto my tiptoes, pressing a kiss into his cheek. His arms snaked around my waist, and I let him hold me for a moment before stepping away. "I don't want to lose you, Gale. Not when I so recently got you back into my heart. Don't ruin our friendship."

Gale sighed, but he let me step away. "You'll always be the one, Katniss. I hope you can live with that." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. But then, he surprised me again. "How about a race like old times? I'll even give you the traditional three second head start." I grinned, my legs tightening with anticipation. I hadn't been able to run in a while. With a tweak to his nose, I took off at a run. Gale laughed, and I could hear him following me…his much longer stride easily catching up to mine. The three second head start never worked out for me.

We tumbled into the grass, wrestling with one another, each vying for the upper hand. I was careful with my movements, not wanting to encourage any improper behavior, and soon, I was had the upper hand, Gale's arm pinned behind his back, my knee pressing into his spine. "Give?"

Gale shook his head, his voice muffled by the grass his face was currently pressed in. "Never." He managed to flex his legs enough to buck me off of him, and I lay, stunned, on my back…too surprised to defend myself. He had me pinned in only a second, his much larger hands holding both my wrists still, his knee pinning my hips. We stared at each other for a moment, his dark gray eyes unreadable. I knew that our friendly banter and play was about to get dangerous. With all the strength I could manage, I sprang from his grasp and took off towards a tree that looked climbable. He missed me by inches as I leapt into the branches, my body singing at the freedoms I was allowing myself. I hadn't run in so long…but everything felt right. My laughter echoed off the trees as Gale pursued me through the branches. Higher and higher we climbed…until finally I reached the top, my head poking through the top branches.

The sight before me made my breath catch, and Gale joined me, his breathing heavy. "It's beautiful…isn't it?"

The capitol was laid out before us…its inhabitants just starting to wake up. Sunlight glinted off the colorful roofs, and I had to shade my eyes to absorb every detail. "It's…phenomenal."

Gale grinned. "See? Not all of the capitol is terrible." He looked down. "Come on…we better get back. We've spent long enough in the woods. I'm sure Peeta will come looking…and I don't want him hurting his leg."

Slowly, we returned to the park, and Peeta grinned at me from where he sat with Johanna. "Did you two have fun?"

I shared a smile with Gale and nodded. "I once again beat Gale in speed and climbing skills. I think he needs an ego boost." Johanna made a face.

"A larger ego is hardly the last thing he needs." Gale returned her rude gesture, and led us to our waiting car.

"Peeta I'm jealous of you. Katniss here wouldn't stop singing your praises. You've obviously managed to tame the girl on fire."

Peeta shook his head and wrapped his arm around me. "Nope. I still get burned sometimes. There's no taming her. You either learn to survive her fire, or you get burned trying." Laughing, we all piled into the car, and drove back towards the Manor. Haymitch pointed out various buildings…and I whispered to Gale that we should probably stop to see Tigris. He nodded his agreement and made a note to set up a good time. The streets grew busier, and our car slowed to a crawl, the driver ensuring that no pedestrians were struck by our shiny vehicle. From my view at the window, I saw the colorful people of the capitol, and returned their smiles and waves.

But then, I saw something…only a flash of something, and it made me gasp. "Stop the car!"

I didn't wait to see if the driver listened. I was out of the door while the vehicle was still rolling, and sprinting after the citizen I had just seen. In a sea of blues, reds, greens, yellows, and pinks, it was easy to spot the thin figure dressed all in black. I tracked him for a minute and then lost him as the crowd grew heavier.

"Is that the Mockingjay? It is! Look! It's Katniss!" I groaned as a slew of people converged on me, asking for autographs and pictures, and my mystery person in black was lost. Gale caught up to me first and led me back to the car, his body radiating with anger.

"What were you thinking? You could have been hurt!"

Peeta shot him a look, and cupped my face with his hands as we started driving again. "What did you see, Katniss?"

I took a deep breath. "A thin man…wearing all black. I only saw his face for a second. I would know it anywhere. We have to find him. Peeta, I saw Cinna!"

Johanna swore. "I can't do this…Gale…" Gale sighed, but nodded. Johanna grabbed my hand, and forced me to look at her. "Katniss…what I'm about to tell you is top secret. You weren't supposed to find out. Not yet. Not like this." She took a deep breath. "Cinna is alive."

-.-

"She's still out? You're an idiot, Johanna."

"Why am I an idiot, Gale? I told her what you all have been too cowardly to tell her! Katniss is my best friend. She protected me when no one else would, she stood up for me, and she helped me. I think it's time I return the favor."

"Because she was so close to the old Cinna…he wanted her to remember him as he was…not what he has become."

"Oh that's a load of bullshit. Peeta…back me up here…Cinna is still Cinna. Right? You went through the same thing. Cinna is a fool for thinking she won't love him anymore. It's Katniss we're talking about here…The girl who carried a fucking torch for him and Peeta…" Johanna's angry voice trailed away as I opened my eyes. "Oh Katniss…sweetie…I'm so sorry."

We were in my bedroom at the Manor, and Peeta, Gale, Johanna, Paylor, and Haymitch were all hovering over me. "What happened?"

Peeta kissed my cold hand. "Johanna told you Cinna was alive. And you kind of just passed out. We thought you were dead for a second…you turned whiter than a ghost." He smiled softly. "Scared at least ten years off my life. You've been out for almost three hours."

I sat up and Gale handed me a glass of water. I looked at Peeta. "Did you know?"

Peeta shook his head. "No. I was just as surprised as you were…minus the fainting part." He glared at Johanna. "Someone here needs to learn some tact."

Johanna sneered at Peeta. "At least she knows."

I held up my hand. "Not really. Clarify?"

Haymitch sat down at the edge of the bed. "Cinna was hijacked." I frowned. "But, like Peeta…he's making remarkable strides in remembering. However…he didn't want you to see him. Not yet."

My heart broke. My friend…my stylist…my hero…he was too ashamed to see me? Gale must have read my mind because he shook his head. "No no…Katniss don't think that. Cinna had it a lot worse than Peeta did. We got to Peeta before the real damage was done. When we found Cinna, he was a shell. Barely alive…his mind filled with real and altered memories. He was more animal than human, trapped in his cell. He attacked the soldier who tried to pull him out…and we had to sedate him for a long time before we deemed he was safe to start rehab. He's at the stage now, where Peeta was when we brought him to Thirteen. He doesn't see you as a threat, he never really has, that's one part that we're mystified on…but he still has problems sorting through the shiny parts. He didn't want you to see him so broken, because you had lost enough…he didn't want you to carry the burden of his hijacking as well."

Peeta shook his head. "She should have been told. Katniss needed him." He squeezed my hand. "Can we see him?"

Johanna shook her head. "We made him a promise, Peeta."

Peeta narrowed his eyes. "Let me rephrase this. Either we see Cinna, or the entire tour is off, and I take Katniss home where she can sort through this new bit of trauma delivered once again by the capitol."

Paylor sighed. "I'll see what I can do." She turned to leave, "Katniss…we thought we were protecting you. I've cancelled tonight's dinner. I want you to get some rest." I turned away from her and faced the wall. Tears streamed down my face while Peeta got rid of everyone else.

When all was quiet, and there was no one left but Peeta and myself, he crawled into bed with me and hugged me while fresh tears spilled. When my tears had drained themselves, and I was just too exhausted to cry anymore, Peeta got up and helped me dress into my nightclothes. He joined me in his boxers and once again covered us with the quilt.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I thought a moment, my eyes searching his beautiful face. How had I become so lucky to have such an amazing man love me? "I'll make you a deal."

Peeta groaned. "I don't like the sound of this already."

A smile made its way to my lips. "Buy me three hours of time so I can go find him."

"No."

"What? Why not?"

Peeta sighed. "Because Katniss. I love you, and I agree, you need to see him. But it's not safe for you to sneak off to the capitol alone. You know that as well as I do. Plus…you wouldn't even know where to start. How about we wait to see what Paylor's answer is…and then formulate a plan?" He kissed my eyes shut. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for my leg. I made it while you were dead to the world."

I sighed and snuggled deeper into his warmth. "Fine. You have a deal." He should have known I never followed orders. This would just have to be done around him. The doctor's appointment would buy me the time I needed.

TBC


	9. Author's Update )

Hi everyone! I'm back. It's been a busy couple years what with a new job, a new degree, and then (because I didn't have enough to do) a new baby!

I'm finding it hard getting back into writing this story. And to be honest, I forgot where I wanted to go with it. So while I figure this out-I'm considering starting from scratch a new story. Please be patient with me, and check back often. I promise to give ya'll SOMETHING!

3

Unknown


End file.
